A woman who was attacked and controlled by her partner says his abuse turned her from a “popular and sociable” person into feeling “worthless”.
She was one of two women assaulted by Shamar Guthrie-Ellis, who was jailed for four years after also being convicted of coercive and controlling behaviour.
Guthrie-Ellis, 22, became the first person in Greater Manchester to receive an indefinite domestic abuse protection order (DAPO).
In a victim impact statement heard at Manchester Minshull Street Crown Court, one of the women said she avoided seeing family and friends because she did not want them to notice her injuries.
‘Wishing pain to end’
“I used to be a popular and sociable person before this relationship,” she said.
“However, over time I began to distance myself from my friends and family, to try and avoid further arguments with Shamar due to his jealous tendencies, and to avoid them seeing me with physical injuries caused by Shamar.”
She said she also found it difficult to share her problems with colleagues and ended up taking “frequent unauthorised absences” which led to her losing her job.
The woman said: “During this period, I vividly remember spending my lunch breaks at work in the restroom, crying, overwhelmed and wishing for the pain to end.
“I didn’t see the point in anything for a long time because I was made to feel worthless by Shamar due to his controlling behaviour.
“When the relationship ended with Shamar, it felt like I almost had nobody left in my life due to me losing most of my friends by that point.
“I did have a few solid friends who stood by me throughout the relationship, however I found it very hard to go back to normal once I was single, as I had pushed so many people away from me.”
‘Trust is incredibly difficult’
She said she “often felt” as though she was “violating his ‘rules’ by becoming friends with people again” as Guthrie-Ellis made her feel she couldn’t socialise with her friends.
“Since the end of the relationship, I have not been able to get into new relationships with men, largely due to the trauma I endured,” she said, adding: “Trusting men is now an incredibly difficult, if not impossible, task for me.
“I’m terrified of opening up to someone new again and trusting that they won’t put me through the same abuse that Shamar put me through.”
She said the “lack of trust” had also damaged her relationships with family, friends and co-workers as there had been a “significant toll” on her “mental, emotional, and financial well-being”.
“I will continue to carry the weight of this trauma with me, as it has already shaped my past, present and will undoubtedly affect my future,” the woman said.
