Do you know what really gets my goat? Apart from the obvious, like Abbie Chatfield’s ranting, raving and playing the victim…
It’s seeing celebrities – or anyone really – using their children as props for kudos, content or Instagram likes. It makes me seethe, not just as a columnist, but as a woman and a mother.
I’ve written four books about the most intimate details of my life, and yet I’m so private when it comes to my family that most people aren’t even aware I have kids. Why? Because my story isn’t their story – never has been, never will be. Even now they’re adults, I’m fiercely protective.
Which is why the recent, much-talked-about video of Brisbane Lions player Lachie Neale parading his sobbing four-year-old daughter Piper around in front of cheering crowds at the Melbourne Cricket Ground made me deeply uncomfortable.
And I know I’m not the only woman who feels like this.
Before I go on, let me make myself clear: I am not attacking Lachie for his capabilities as a father. Parenting is on-the-job learning, and no one is perfect.
Daily Mail’s Amanda Goff reveals how the distressing scenes at the MCG that provoked such a strong reaction from Jules Neale are the culmination of a painful and humiliating chapter
‘Every single mother watching that at home felt in their gut that wasn’t shyness, it was fear,’ writes Goff. (Lachie Neale is pictured holding four-year-old daughter Piper as she cries)
I know it can be hard. I’m a single mother and I’ve had to navigate split custody. Lachie is going through a separation – it can be complex, emotional and messy.
And look, the clip was posted to mark a big day for him, his 300th AFL game.
What I’m questioning is this: who at the club decided it was acceptable to let that moment unfold in public – cameras rolling, crowds cheering, phones capturing every second of a little girl’s distress – while everyone looked on and called it ‘sweet’?
And then to post the video on the team’s Instagram, with some bright spark at Lions HQ captioning the video ‘Our shy queen.’
I’m sorry? ‘Shy’? Clearly not. The clip was later deleted – thank God.
Every mother watching that at home felt in their gut that wasn’t shyness. It was fear.
And no one said it better than Piper’s mum – and Lachie’s estranged wife – Jules Neale, who fired back in a comment: ‘She’s not shy, she’s scared and it’s not funny.’
I don’t blame Jules for calling out the club. It would be hard enough watching the man whose affair with her former best friend detonated her happy family life paraded as a spotless hero in front of a roaring crowd. But to see her daughter in tears added to the mix? I’d be ropable.
‘I don’t blame Jules for calling out the club. It would be hard enough watching the man whose affair with her former best friend detonated her happy family life paraded as a spotless hero in front of a roaring crowd. But to see her daughter in tears added to the mix? I’d be ropable’
Jules’ husband Lachie had an affair with her best friend Tess Crosley (pictured). Now, the Brisbane Lions appear to be in damage control, trying to repair the star player’s reputation
I’ve spoken to those who know Jules, who recently moved to Perth to restart her life with her children, and can confirm she’s had a gutful. This was tinder to a flame. The culmination of a painful and humiliating chapter that has played out publicly for months.
To fully grasp her rage, you have to look beyond the headlines that shamed Lions management into deleting the video.
It was the same ground – the MCG – in September last year. We all remember the photo taken after Brisbane smashed Geelong: the Neales striking a celebratory pose with Jules’ then-friend Tess Crosley and her husband Ben. As the crowd cheered and camera bulbs flashed, Tess could be seen gently nudging her knee into Lachie’s thigh – their affair hiding in plain sight. By Christmas, the secret was out.
If that wasn’t a clear ‘he’s mine now’ moment, I don’t know what is.
Flash forward seven months and Lachie is back at the ‘G – his marriage in tatters, his captaincy relinquished, but still a hero in the eyes of Lions fans – carrying his visibly distressed daughter, in a moment clipped up for his 300th game.
No wonder Jules is angry. I’d be screaming at the screen.
Betrayal trauma is real, and I suspect Jules is still deep in it – especially after sharing a recent video after an emotional hypnotherapy session. (Speaking from experience, hypnotherapy is a powerful tool for releasing trauma.)
Sitting in Perth with their one-year-old son Freddie while Lachie paraded Piper on national TV must have made Jules feel as furious and helpless as she felt on the day a trusted WAG told her of Lachie’s affair.
But I am not entirely laying the blame on Lachie here. No, my sights are on whatever idiot at Brisbane Lions HQ thought thrusting a four-year-old girl who’s away from her mum onto a footy field with thousands of screaming blokes was a great idea.
Surely the PR team should know better: get Jules on side, have a real plan ready in case Piper melts down (because kids always do), and think of the optics.
Honestly, is there not a single woman or mum at the club who saw this coming? Any mother could have warned them. Kids need protection, calm and stability in times like this – not a spotlight.
And if the worst happens, for God’s sake don’t post it on Instagram.
The hard truth is that given all the drama, the affair, the headlines – everything that’s happened in the past year, Lachie’s 300th game should have been stage-managed with a lot more care and sensitivity than it was.
There’s a crude expression I often use that seems fitting here: you can’t polish a turd.
Lachie’s affair was a real steamer for the Lions. But clearly, the club thought it could press on with his milestone, draped in the same pageantry as every player before him.
Perhaps they hoped that anyone with memories of the nasty off-season headlines would forget them if they inserted a cute child into the frame.
Well, sorry to break it to you, lads, but when that little girl started crying, every woman watching remembered exactly what happened last year. Viscerally.
I’m not saying that Lachie doesn’t deserve celebration for his sporting achievements, but let’s be frank, his kids have been through enough.
After everything she’s had to process since December, I have a feeling the most unbearable part for Jules was seeing her little girl seemingly being used as a prop in a football club’s mission to rehab its star player’s reputation.
It was, without question, a massive PR fail.
The powers-that-be at the Lions need to think about their next steps very carefully. I don’t think this will be the last we hear from Jules. First she growls, then she roars.
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