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No boots. No balls. No bibs. What would Roy Keane say? This threatened to be England’s very own Saipan. Or, rather, ‘Sly Van’.
For it was in transit from West Palm Beach in Florida to England’s World Cup base in Missouri that the team’s essential training equipment was stolen, as exclusively revealed by Daily Mail Sport.
FA staff suspected it was an inside job involving drivers trusted by a third-party haulage firm to transport the goods 1,400 miles across four states. Frantic calls were made to police on Friday afternoon and arrests later made.
We can now reveal the full extent of the devastation that was felt when distressed logistics staff realised they had been the victims of a brazen plot.
Gone, sources say, was ‘just about everything’ from one van. Most troublingly, the World Cup match boots to be worn by the players were part of the loot. Some of those boots are specially embroidered with personal momentos, and many are custom designed to best suit the player, including fitted orthotics to aid comfort and performance.
Harry Kane is due to wear a brand new Skechers boot at the tournament, while Jude Bellingham has his signature and a silhouette of himself on the heel of his Adidas Predators. The value of these tailored items would be worth thousands of pounds to the thieves.
It was said to be at England’s Swope Soccer Village base in Kansas City, just 24 hours before the squad were due to train there for the first time, that the robbery became apparent. Staff were meant to arrive to find all of their cargo waiting, to then be set up inside the training facility that will be home to Thomas Tuchel and his stars over the next month.
England have seen a large number of their training essentials and football boots pinched upon their return to Kansas City
Instead, left scattered outside, were the items that remained. The bandits had even attempted to take the players’ table-tennis table, but it was smashed in the process. Witnessed have described the sorry sight of the table, so popular with the players, lying broken in the road. The pastime is one of several central to squad morale away from the pitch.
What did survive the act of audacious larceny was a dartboard, but the fate of the darts is unknown. Some Lego was also spared, as well as Tuchel’s whiteboard.
But official tournament balls to be used in training, and key to getting used to its flight and bounce, were taken. Maybe it was a deliberate act of mercy – or a merciless joke – but the perpetrators left behind just one Adidas Trionda at the roadside. At least Tuchel and his players don’t have to revert to the shadow play, minus a ball, that we saw in Mike Bassett: England Manager, when the team’s balls were left in the boot of the kitman’s car.
However, a lot of the memes that soon circulated in light of our exclusive story billed Mike Bassett, played by Ricky Tomlinson, and his assistant, played by Bradley Wash, as Tuchel and his right-hand man Anthony Barry.
And in a fresh twist, we understand that the team’s fluffy mascot Leo the Lion was left behind. As one source quipped: ‘He is a key witness.’
Police are thought to have recovered some of the stolen goods, but exactly what and how much remains unclear. England were due to train in front of locals and media at 5pm (Central American Time) on Saturday.
The security breach is a major concern for England’s logistics team, and raises serious questions of how they transport equipment between venues during the tournament. Their first group match against Croatia is on Wednesday in Dallas, 500 miles south of Kansas City.
Forget ‘Who shot J.R?’, what will JB be shooting with come the opener?
Which England star has 7 GCSEs? Who has lost half of his finger? Test your knowledge of Thomas Tuchel’s squad with our exclusive quiz HERE.
