A special occasion quickly spun into disaster when one stepmom found out she wasn’t invited to her stepson’s wedding.
“For context, I have been married to my husband for just over 20 years. We started dating when my stepkids were 5 and 3,” the stepmom explained in a recent Am I The A**hole post on Reddit.
“Our kids are: Adam (28, stepkid #1), Ben (26, stepkid #2), Charles (20), David (17), and Ellie (13),” she continued. “Adam is getting married at the end of summer to his fiancée Alice (27). We have all been very excited for them.”
The Redditor went on to reveal that most of the family, kids included, have roles in the wedding, except her.
In fact, at a dinner for her husband’s birthday, she found out she wasn’t just not a part of the ceremony, she wasn’t invited to the big day.
“The topic of the wedding came up again, and this is where it started to go downhill,” she said.
Her youngest daughter mentioned she and the Redditor planned to go dress shopping in the city to find options for them. And as soon as her daughter mentioned this, the bride looked at her stepson.
“Alice looked at Adam sideways and responded that we only needed to worry about one dress, Ellie’s. Ellie kind of laughed and said, ‘What are you expecting mom to wear? A suit?’” the stepmom recalled. “Alice responded with. ‘(My name) isn’t going. You know we are keeping our guest list very limited to only family and a few close friends.’”
The Redditor was shocked, to say the least. This was the first time she had heard she wasn’t invited.
She said: “Adam and Alice have been to our house numerous times for holidays, dinners, just to say hi since they’ve been engaged, this has never been brought up.”
Her husband, Charles, was equally as stunned by this information. He asked if this had been their plan all along or if they were choosing to uninvite her just then.
“Alice confirmed the latter,” the stepmom said. “Adam said it’s because I’m not his mom.
“Charles, David, and Ellie argued with Adam and Alice that none of them were going to go if I wasn’t invited,” she continued. “That it was cruel to leave me out given I’ve been his parent for a majority of his life and loved him like my own.”
Adam then asked the Reddit writer’s husband if he wouldn’t attend because she wasn’t invited, and he said, “Yes.”
“Adam then turned to me and asked if I was really going to let everyone ruin his wedding on my behalf,” the Redditor explained. “I just laughed. And then promptly bawled my eyes out.”
According to the original poster, her husband and two kids haven’t spoken to Adam. And even when Adam called her husband, things didn’t get better.
“He was still adamant that I’m not invited and it’s their wedding. He also requested I apologize for laughing at him,” the stepmom said. “My husband told him tough s***. It’s their wedding and they can invite whoever they want, but they cant control who will actually go.”
Her husband told his son he needed to apologize to his stepmom.
She noted: “I’m getting texts now asking what I did and why I’m being a ‘stepmonster and ruining the wedding.’”
Wondering if she was truly in the wrong, the Redditor asked her readers for their opinions. The majority of them thought her stepson and his wife-to-be were the “bad guys.”
“The whole thing is obviously insulting but also tacky as s***,” one reader wrote. “Discussing about the wedding among the family when one family member isn’t invited with no one even knowing they’re not invited?”
A second agreed: “Do not apologize for laughing.”
“Personally, I’d cut the relationship even if stepson came back with an apology and an invite. This is behavior you don’t come back from,” a third pointed out.
Another reader wrote: “Adam is the A here. I love that your husband, children, and younger stepson are supporting you and recognize Adam for the A he is.”
