Saturday Night Live brutally mocked Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth and FBI Director Kash Patel in its latest cold open sketch, with Aziz Ansari stepping in to play the embattled bureau chief.
In the sketch, Hegseth, played by Colin Jost, riding high from his Congressional testimony this week, and Ansari’s Patel took questions from an exasperated press corps in the White House briefing room.
“Now, listen up, dingbats, OK? As you might have seen on our sick a** TikTok, we’ve been bombing stuff, doing sick air raids. This war has been a movie, specifically the NeverEnding Story,” Jost’s Hegseth bragged of the war in Iran.
“We hit Iran with everything we’ve got…missiles, bombs, drones and twins. But now we’re in a ceasefire — wink,” he said.
A few moments later, a reporter interjected: “But President Trump himself just declared that the war is over.”
“Okay, yeah, when he says it, it’s cool. And to quote another thing he says, ‘You’re fired!’” Jost replied, referencing Trump’s catchphrase on The Apprentice.
Soon afterward, he introduced Ansari’s Patel, who entered the room to loud cheers from the audience.
“What up? It’s K Dot, AKA Kash with the K, AKA the most effective FBI director this country has ever had, Kash Patel!” he declared.
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The sketch referenced last weekend’s shooting at the Washington Hilton hotel during the White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner, where Trump and other administration officials were evacuated from the event.
“After the attempted assassination of President Trump — another one — we conducted an investigation that could not have been more thorough,” Ansari said.
“We dotted every T and bulls-ed every I. And for those of you saying I’m doing a bad job running the FBI, well, what if I told you this agency is only six weeks away from pinpointing the exact location of Osama bin Laden?” he continued, as the audience erupted in laughter.
The sketch followed a letter Trump sent to Congress sent Friday, where he said hostilities with Iran had been “terminated,” and that the U.S. and Iran hadn’t exchanged fire since April 7. But Trump also told reporters Saturday he could order new strikes against Iran if the nation were to “misbehave.”
