Ronnie O’Sullivan has admitted he was scared to approach a snooker table during his break from the game and fears he has lost his bottle, while also acknowledging that he could still pull out of the upcoming World Snooker Championship at short notice.
The World Championship begins in Sheffield on Saturday morning, although O’Sullivan’s first-round grudge match against Ali Carter doesn’t start until Tuesday afternoon.
The seven-time world champion hasn’t played in a tournament since snapping his cue in anger and walking out of the Championship League in January. He has pulled out of several events at short notice over the past 12 months, including the Masters at Alexandra Palace, to prioritise his mental health and wellbeing.
O’Sullivan has been open about his struggles, and there was real doubt about whether he would play at Sheffield or be absent for the first time in 33 years.
During an appearance at Friday’s media day at the Crucible Theatre, the 49-year-old was candid about his ongoing issues and, while suggesting he intends to play, didn’t rule out withdrawing at the last moment if he feels it’s necessary.
“Just getting here was a victory in itself,” said O’Sullivan. “Getting out there to play will be a victory in itself.
“It’s Friday now, I’m not playing until Tuesday, so if I have a meltdown, who knows, I might still bloody withdraw. I hope I don’t.”
O’Sullivan has had extended breaks from snooker before, even winning the World Championship in 2013 after a season of not playing in tournaments, but feels this time is different, given the fear he has felt and a worry that he has lost his edge.
“I’m used to dealing with pressurised situations and stuff like that. This feels a lot different,” explained O’Sullivan. “It feels like I’ve lost my nerve. Maybe lost my bottle. That makes it difficult to go out and play.
“Even when I went to Saudi Arabia to do the exhibition, I felt quite nervous just exposing myself to the scrutiny and judgement and stuff like that. That felt hard enough, let alone coming here [the Crucible] to try and play – there is no bigger test. I am surprised I am here, but I am here.
“This feels different because I was a bit scared to go near the table. I didn’t want to practice, I didn’t want to hit the ball. There were so many practice sessions that lasted like five minutes. Normally I do three or four hours a day, first 20 minutes are a bit ‘urgh’, then after that I think, ‘I am loving this’.
“I tried playing left-handed for a couple of months. I enjoyed it but I can’t compete left-handed against these guys. I tried a different bridge hand but I didn’t have any touch or feel. I ran out of ideas in the end. I felt a bit beaten by it and I don’t know what the future holds.”
Despite being a seven-time world champion – going for a record eighth title at the Crucible – and being widely regarded as the greatest snooker player of all time, O’Sullivan has spent a lot of his career playing down expectations of himself.
This year is no different, with “the Rocket” adamant that any sort of decent performance against Carter – with whom he has a rocky history that includes mid-match shoulder barges and wars of words over on-table behaviour – would be considered a win.
“I don’t have any expectations,” he insisted. “I’d just like to not feel all at sea out there. If I can just play and at least feel semi-competitive, I’d be happy with that.
“Could I win the whole thing? I doubt it. I’d be very happy to just give Ali a game, to be honest. I have to be realistic.
“I know I have a reputation and years of being successful and winning a lot of tournaments. A lot of people always think, ‘well, if you can do that, surely you can still do it.’ That’s probably difficult because you are always going to have that reputation, I suppose.
“But I am nearly 50 now and there a lot of young guys who are hungry and competing all the time. It’s a bit different to, say, 2012 or 2013. I feel like a bit of an old man clinging on. When you are a young man clinging on, it feels all right. But when you feel like an old man clinging on, it’s kind of different.
“I am going to try and push on through and put everything into it and try and manage whatever the sport throws at me.”
