Social media personality Sharon Gaffka has spoken out about the dangers of coercive control and how abuse goes far beyond physical attacks.
The Love Island star, who was trolled after appearing on the reality show and suffered serious misogynistic abuse, said many people did not realise they were experiencing domestic abuse and criticised the lack of education about the issue.
The 28-year-old lent her backing to The Independent’s Brick by Brick campaign, which has been launched in partnership with leading domestic abuse charity Refuge to build a safe house for women escaping abusive partners.
Generous donations from readers, celebrities, politicians and campaigners have enabled the campaign to raise money for a second property.
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Speaking to The Independent, Gaffka warned society is “still very uneducated and very, very unwilling to understand what domestic abuse actually is” and the repercussions it can have on people’s lives.
She said: “We still have this very outdated view that domestic abuse is a man hitting his partner, but it can actually show up in many different forms.”
Gaffka argued society deals with domestic abuse by “cleaning up the mess, as opposed to actually stopping it in its tracks”.
The reality-star-turned-campaigner, an ambassador for Refuge, explained she got involved with the organisation after leaving reality TV show Love Island.
“I’d experienced quite a lot of misogynistic and racist abuse as a result of my participation in the show,” she added. “Having worked with lots of young women’s organisations in the past, I kind of wanted to carry that on.
“Public awareness and education play a really crucial role in the tackling of domestic abuse.”
She told how a friend of hers was tracked by their then partner who would follow their every movement via mobile phone software. Initially, her friend thought their partner was tracking them due to caring about their personal safety.
Gaffka described how her friend was controlled to the extent that their partner chose what they wore and selected their friends.
She said she hoped the Brick by Brick campaign would enable domestic abuse survivors to feel safe, adding that the most dangerous time for victims is when they escape their abusive partner.
“I believe it’s important to have dedicated, safe spaces like the one Refuge are building because it means that survivors are able to get the support they need,” Gaffka added.
“But it also means that they feel empowered to be able to leave that perpetrator that they can reclaim some of their independence and actually be able to begin to rebuild their lives.”
She drew attention to the importance of supporting women and their children to “rebuild a life” beyond domestic abuse and “become themselves again” and “regain their independence”, adding that it is a “feeling that money can’t buy”.
Her comments come as exclusive research has found a fifth of adults have experienced coercive control in a relationship and just over a third do not realise it is a crime.
A survey of 2,000 people, by Maguire Family Law, found that of the individuals who said they have experienced coercive control, 14 per cent said they were still currently in that same abusive relationship.
Financial reasons were the most cited factor for why victims were choosing to remain with an abusive partner, with around four in ten saying this was the reason.
While forty per cent said they were staying in an abusive relationship due to being scared of change, around a third said they were anxious about the prospect of being alone.
Almost a quarter said they have remained in their abusive relationship due to culture, with around two in ten saying religion was the main factor keeping them trapped with their abuser.
James Maguire, from Maguire Family Law, said: “We’ve noticed a steady rise over the years in the number of cases we handle in which our client might be either the victim of perpetrator of coercive control.
“Often, people on both sides are unaware that this is the case, and it might only come to their attention during divorce proceedings when this behaviour can intensify as a perpetrator tries to control the process. Most often, clients don’t recognise the traits and it falls to us to explain that the behaviour they’ve experienced, or are displaying, is not ok.”
Coercive control became a crime in England and Wales in 2015 under the Serious Crime Bill. The domestic abuse act, which became law in 2021, introduced the first-ever statutory definition of domestic abuse to include economic abuse and controlling and manipulative behaviour that is not physical.
Please donate now to the Brick by Brick campaign, launched by The Independent and charity Refuge, to help raise £300,000 to build a safe space for women where they can escape domestic abuse, rebuild their lives and make a new future.
