She has been portrayed as a pushy parent with images of her punching the air and shouting out during her sons’ matches used to back up that insinuation.
However, Judy Murray has revealed that she made sure not to put pressure on her champion sons when they were young after seeing how scared their peers were about disappointing their parents.
The mother of tennis legends Andy and Jamie, Mrs Murray has described how youngsters playing alongside her boys would often approach her after games to discuss their trepidation after losses.
She said the children would be upset, knowing their parents would be ‘angry’ at them or distant if they didn’t win.
The experience was so influential on Mrs Murray, who said the youngsters felt they would only be valued if they won, that she avoided taking the same approach with her two boys during their upbringing in Dunblane, Perthshire.
Speaking on podcast Tennis Insider Club, Mrs Murray, 66, said: ‘I learned a lot about how not to parent by observing many parents in junior tennis, how they behaved with their kids.
Mrs Murray explained how her experience speaking to children who were worried about how their parents would react to them losing taught her what to avoid doing with her own boys
The tennis coach, pictured with her sons in 1996, has been integral in her boys’ success but has said it is wrong to label her a pushy parent as that was not the approach she took
‘The kids would come to me and they’re upset and they’ve lost, and they don’t want to get in the car with their father on the way home because [they say] “He’s going to be really angry with me. He is not going to talk to me all the way home”.
‘You learn this from the kids.
‘They’re telling you and it’s making them anxious and then you realise why they play with fear and caution and they don’t want to risk anything because they’re scared to lose because of the way that the parents behave.’
The tennis coach said that even rewarding children for winning can leave them anxious as they will take the lack of a reward after losing a match as a sign they’ve disappointed their parents.
She said: ‘They start to feel that they’re only valued and that there’s a reward if [they] win and there’s almost like a punishment if [they] don’t win.
Mrs Murray said children are unlikely to ask their parents to stop behaving that way, meaning it is up to adults to be wary of what approach they take.
‘I would always advise clubs and governing bodies to invest much more in parental support.’
Both Jamie (left) and Sir Andy (right) have bagged major trophies in their careers
The Murray brothers achieved massive success in their careers with Sir Andy winning the men’s singles at Wimbledon twice as well as the US Open and bagging an Olympic gold medal before his retirement in 2024.
Meanwhile, Jamie’s 20-year career saw him once ranked the number one men’s doubles player in the world – the first Brit to achieve the accolade.
Jamie has also won 34 tour-level men’s doubles titles, including triumphs at the Australian Open and US Open in 2016.
Along the way, their mother Judy was usually in the crowd cheering them on.
However, her reactions at matches saw her labelled a pushy parent – a description she has said is completely wrong.
In a previous interview, she said: ‘I was painted as Tiger Mum, a nightmare parent.
‘But I should never have been made to feel I had to apologise for being there for my kids, or for being competitive. If I’d been a man I would have been lauded and applauded for it.’
She once revealed that her reputation for being ‘pushy’ almost stopped her from hugging Sir Andy when he won Wimbledon in 2013.
She had said: ‘I was longing to give him a hug, but I stayed put, knowing I couldn’t face getting nailed in the press again for being a pushy mother.
Her reactions during matches have been used as a way of suggesting she was a pushy parent
‘But the crowd shouted, “what about your mum?” He turned back and I walked down to get my hug.’
If anything, it was her sons’ own sibling rivalry that often fuelled their competitive spirit.
Jamie, who is just 15 months older than younger brother Andy, once recalled a pivotal moment as the two returned home after a junior tournament.
He had said: ‘Mum was driving the minibus and he [Andy] had beaten me in the final of the under-10s or under-12s or something and he was giving me stick about it.
‘I turned round and grabbed his armrest.
‘I banged his hand with it. His nail did not recover for years and probably still, if you look at it now, is not completely like the rest of them. A little reminder for him not to mess with me.’
