Footy star Shannon Mato has made a raw confession about her mental state when she learned she was pregnant with her baby son, admitting she ignored her positive test and played on regardless as she battled mental health problems.
The Broncos prop forward admitted she was ‘really depressed and doing things I shouldn’t have been doing’ when she decided to play two matches early last year after learning she was carrying her son Charnze.
Mato, who has excelled at arguably the sport’s toughest position over 31 NRLW games, was in a bad place with her partner Ropati when she got what should have been joyful news about their family.
‘I was very in denial of my pregnancy,’ she told News Corp.
‘I said to myself, “I’m going to play these last two games because I’m not sure that I want this baby.”‘
The 27-year-old starred for the Maori All Stars and the Jillaroos in those games, even scoring a try against England in the latter contest, which was held in Las Vegas as part of the NRL’s season opener.
NRLW star Shannon Mato is pictured with her partner Ropati and their son Charnze
The Brisbane prop (pictured) was in a dark place mentally when she discovered she was pregnant with her baby boy
Mato’s life hit a heartwarming turning point when Charnze was born in October last year (pictured)
‘I went to Vegas and that’s when it hit me.
‘I was really depressed and doing things I shouldn’t have been doing. And that’s the honest truth.
‘I was selfish at the time for a lot of reasons, because I didn’t know how to handle it.
‘And I’ve got no one else to blame but myself. I feel like I had no guidance.’
Mato, who was playing for the Gold Coast Titans at the time, wasn’t able to tell the club herself before the team found out about her pregnancy via word of mouth.
She said the result was ‘lots of rumours’ that turned her life ‘upside down’.
‘My partner was telling me that he was going to support me, that we can do this.
‘I didn’t believe him because he was going through his mental battles as well.
The 27-year-old (pictured with her family) has confessed that depression and anxiety left her so ‘selfish’ that she was in denial about being pregnant
The Broncos star (pictured right celebrating a State of Origin win for Queensland) now believes having Charnze was ‘the big answer I needed’
‘I felt like we couldn’t depend on anyone, like I had no support … I felt like I had no one who could understand.’
After mending her relationship with her partner, Charnze was born on October 6 last year – and Mato’s life reached a heartwarming turning point.
‘It was the big answer I needed,’ she said of her son.
‘I let myself down in areas where I would drink and make choices that didn’t align with my values.
‘I was an unhealed person, but my son really healed me in areas that I didn’t think I was able to be healed in.
‘I’m proud of the person I am today and I’m here for my kids, that’s what matters.
‘Now I think, “What was I so scared of?”
‘It’s the best thing ever.
‘I’m not embarrassed of my life choices, I think everything happens for a reason and no one is perfect.’
The New Zealand-born star hid her mental battle when she announced her pregnancy on Instagram in April last year, posting a shot of her ultrasound with the caption, ‘My heart grew when I found out about you. Twice the love – twice the joy.’
Just weeks beforehand she posted a happy series of photos of her time in Vegas with the Jillaroos, mixing playing photos and off-field shots of her celebrating with teammates.
Her caption read ‘Vegas you were amazing’ despite the desperate battle she was fighting in her head.
Then, when Charnze was born, Mato wrote on Instagram, ‘We prayed for you. We dreamed of you. And now you’re here – more perfect than we ever imagined.
‘I love you my son.’
Mato’s turnaround since Charnze’s birth – both physically and mentally – has been so impressive that she was reportedly on the verge of being selected for Queensland in the upcoming State of Origin series.
‘It’s all working out the way it’s supposed to and if not, I’m just grateful for my opportunities,’ she said.
