Coldplay usurped the England team and played Wembley last night. To be frank, Wembley dodged a bullet. England v Andorra went to Villa Park instead.
It was the famous old ground’s first England match for 20 years but only the most ardent fan would say it was worth the wait.
It wasn’t England’s fault. It’s just the way international football is configured these days. Matches like this are the reason why some football fans are plunged into mourning when the Premier League takes a week off.
This World Cup qualifier, with a few brief and merciful interruptions, was dull and turgid.
England did what they had to do. And they avoided any injuries. So even though this was a thoroughly underwhelming 2-0 victory, it was still a satisfactory evening in the bigger picture of progressing to next year’s World Cup in the USA, Canada and Mexico.
They have now won their first four competitive matches under Thomas Tuchel and top their group. If they were looking for a decent game ahead of their first real test, away to Serbia in Belgrade on Tuesday night, though, this was not it.
England strolled to a comfortable but dull 2-0 victory over Andorra at Villa Park
This World Cup qualifier, with a few brief and merciful interruptions, was dull and turgid
It was Villa Park’s first England match for 20 years but only the most ardent fan would say it was worth the wait
Serbia away will be a proper game. The atmosphere in Belgrade will be everything that this was not. It will be hostile and aggressive and England will be facing a striker, in Dusan Vlahovic who scored his country’s winner in Latvia on Saturday and is one of Europe’s best forwards.
The atmosphere will be hot. This was cold play. No one was hearing Jerusalem bells a ringin’ in England’s second city on Saturday night.
If the stadium announcer had stuck Paradise on, it would not have fitted the mood. For much of the tie, though, the ground was quiet enough to hear a pin drop. An own goal and a fine back post header from Declan Rice were enough to get the job done and get out of town.
Andorra packed ten men behind the ball from start to finish. They parked the bus, they circled the wagons and they set up a roadblock in their penalty area. That was always the way it was going to be but it did not make it any easier on the eye.
England were playing a ski resort, basically a ski resort that has now gone more than 23 hours, and 14 competitive matches, without scoring a goal. They are ranked 153rd in the world. It was never going to be end-to-end stuff.
There were some bright points for England. The most obvious came from Elliot Anderson, the Nottingham Forest midfielder, who was making his debut. Anderson, playing alongside Rice, was full of energy and verve and did more than anyone to inject creativity into the side.
Noni Madueke and Eberechi Eze threatened occasionally in the first half and did the most to unlock the massed ranks of the Andorra defence and Marc Guehi was utterly dominant and full of class in the back-four. But when the final whistle went, it was met with a murmur of resignation from what remained of the crowd of 39,202.
After a stultifying opening 20 minutes, England finally came close to breaking the deadlock midway through the half. Eze spun and shot from eight yards out but his goalbound shot was hacked off the line by Max Llovera. It was the encouragement England needed to increase their tempo.
Noni Madueke (pictured) and Eberechi Eze threatened occasionally in the first half
Madueke curled in a ball that flicked off the head of Christian Garcia after 25 minutes
Declan Rice rose to steer it expertly past Alvarez with his head in the 67th minute
For much of the tie, though, the ground was quiet enough to hear a pin drop
Harry Kane came within an inch of applying the finishing touch to a superb Reece James cross from the right and then, before Andorra had had a chance to regroup, Noni Madueke curled in a ball that flicked off the head of Christian Garcia and floated over the head of goalkeeper Iker Alvarez.
England should have gone further ahead five minutes after half-time. Madueke slalomed into the box between two defenders and pulled the ball back from Eberechi Eze. Eze’s shot was saved and Marcus Rashford curled the follow-up wide.
Rashford tried hard but this was not the kind of performance to impress his new paymasters in Barcelona. They are said, by sections of the Spanish media, to be having buyer’s remorse about taking Rashford on loan. He did little to reassure them here.
England missed an even better chance moments later. Andorra were undone as they tried to play the ball out from the back and when Kane squared the ball to Anderson, he should have had a tap-in to score. But Kane’s pass was slightly behind him and Anderson’s scooped shot was close enough to the goalkeeper for Alvarez to pull off a fine one-handed save.
Tuchel’s side eked out the second goal midway through the half. Reece James, a Tuchel favourite, showed why he is a favourite by curling a beautiful cross to the back post where Rice rose to steer it expertly past Alvarez with his head.
England pressed and pressed for a third but Andorra held firm. As they trudged off the pitch, England’s players knew an altogether different evening awaited them in Belgrade on Tuesday.
