Rob Clancy lit up every room he entered. The 29-year-old’s big and bubbly personality left a mark on all his friends.
“He was the funniest guy,” Rob’s best friend Dean Perryman says fondly. “He was the life and soul of every get together.”
Rob’s death by suicide, in November 2025, left Dean grappling with profound guilt as he struggled to come to terms with the loss of his best friend, wishing he could have done something to help.
Statistics show suicide is the leading cause of death in young people under the age of 35 in the UK. In 2023, 1,840 young people under the age of 35 died by suicide in the UK – around five young people every day.
“The more you learn about suicide and the more people you talk to who know those who have taken their own lives, Rob’s story is a really typical one,” Dean explains.
“He was the life and soul of every get-together. It was really shocking to everyone around him that someone who had such a big personality and was so fun, bubbly, kind, and caring could be in such a negative headspace and not have the confidence to share it.”
As Dean attempted to process his grief at losing Rob, he set himself a personal challenge. A month after Rob’s death he went to the pub every day with the aim of having one or two conversations to help him open up about his feelings, but also provide an opportunity for others to talk to him, if they needed.
It took just one trip to realise that what he was doing could ease someone else’s pain too. “I thought, what am I good at? I’m okay at talking to strangers, and I’m good at drinking beer,” Dean explains. “So if I go to the pub, that seems like a place that Rob might have actually gone to if he was ever having a low moment or wanted somewhere to just be in his own space.”
Dean decided the best way to get noticed was to don a bright orange top and post information on social media about which pub he would be at. Within four days, someone turned up to chat.
In January, Rob would have turned 30. This milestone prompted Dean to offer others the chance to host their own events. Hoping he might be able to give one person an opportunity to speak openly in a way that his best friend might have needed before he died, Empty Chairs was born.
“I’ve kind of struggled to come to terms with the whole thing, if I’m being honest,” Dean says when asked how he feels about the speed at which Empty Chairs has grown. In just shy of eight months, the campaign has seen 1,000 meetups and has even expanded to locations including Colombia, the Falkland Islands, and the United Arab Emirates.
“I didn’t realise it at the time, but it was a really good outlet for me to grieve and talk openly about Rob and how I was doing. To now be in a position where it feels as though we might be able to create a legacy for Rob is just incredible, and more than I could ever have hoped for,” he adds.
The lack of pressure seems to be the driving force behind its success. Every event is free and open to anyone. Attendees are encouraged to stay for as long as they want, whether that’s five minutes or an entire session, with no requirement to share anything personal.
”It really is: go to the venue, look for the person wearing bright orange, and sit down and have a conversation,” Dean says.
He stresses that it’s not crisis support, and that anyone in urgent need of help should contact Samaritans or call the emergency services. However, he believes Empty Chairs has created an environment where “real human connection can happen.”
It is also helping pubs to return to their rightful place as community hubs at the heart of the community, Dean asserts. “It’s always been a place where this stuff should be happening; it’s just unfortunate that the world that we live in now requires people to wear bright orange to make that work,” he adds.
Rob’s love for sport is now driving Dean’s future plans. He has launched a “Matchdays” edition of Empty Chairs to be held before Southend United home games and dreams of his events being held next to every football ground in the country.
Dean wants anybody attending to know one thing: “Strangers are so much kinder than we give them credit for, and that’s the biggest thing I’ve learned about this whole experience. Everyone who has come to sit with me has been so incredibly kind.
“The one thing I hear so much is ‘Oh, I would have just stayed at home alone again tonight.’ And to know that this has come from something that was personally the lowest point of my life is so beautiful.”
If you are experiencing feelings of distress, or are struggling to cope, you can speak to the Samaritans, in confidence, on 116 123 (UK and ROI) or visit the Samaritans website to find details of your nearest branch.
If you are based in the USA, and you or someone you know needs mental health assistance right now, call or text 988, or visit 988lifeline.org to access online chat from the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. This is a free, confidential crisis hotline that is available to everyone 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
If you are in another country, you can go to www.befrienders.org to find a helpline near you.
