An elderly couple found dead inside their California home in what investigators believe was a murder-suicide had been targeted as part of a scam, according to a longtime friend who says the woman believed she was communicating with actor Tom Selleck.
Donald Whitaker, 80, and his wife, Karen Whitaker, 79, were found dead on May 15 during a welfare check at their home in Bermuda Dunes, the Riverside County Sheriff’s Office said. Both had suffered traumatic injuries and were pronounced dead at the scene.
Investigators said Thursday that Karen Whitaker had been the victim of financial elder abuse, but stressed there is no evidence the scammer or scammers were directly involved in the deaths.
Joy Miedecke, 81, who said she had known the couple for more than a decade through the East Valley Republican Women Patriots club, said a neighbor requested a welfare check after Karen failed to show up for a regular Friday morning card game.
Miedecke told NBC News that the alleged scam began about a year ago after Karen posted on Facebook about a high school friend who had died. Soon afterward, someone contacted her claiming to be actor Tom Selleck.
“Somebody got a hold of her on Facebook and said they were Tom Selleck, and that they had dated this girl years ago,” Miedecke said Friday.
Believing the person was genuine, Karen shared her phone number and began texting with the alleged scammer, Miedecke said. Over time, the person gained Karen’s trust and eventually began asking for money. Miedecke said the first request came in November, when Karen was told she could attend an event in the desert for $80.
“Then, the [scammer or scammers] said, ‘We’re going to come out to the desert and have an event, and Karen, you can be first on the list if you just send $80,’ ” Miedecke said.
The money was allegedly sent through gift cards, a tactic the Federal Trade Commission has warned is commonly used by scammers because it allows quick access to funds once card numbers are shared.
According to Miedecke, the requests escalated from there.
“He kept writing her and gaining her trust and becoming her friend,” she said. “And then he decided that he was going to have the event again and told her you can buy a whole table for all your friends, it’s $800. She immediately sent him $800. That was the beginning. Then he needed money for this, and that and the other, and it just kept growing.”
Friends repeatedly warned Karen she was being scammed, Miedecke said, but she refused to believe them. Miedecke contacted the Riverside County Sheriff’s Office, and deputies spoke with Karen and provided “lots of proof” that the messages were fraudulent. Authorities confirmed that a report of financial elder abuse had been filed before the couple’s deaths.
Miedecke said the messages eventually became “almost a little bit romantic,” prompting her to seek additional help through adult protective services.
“She thought it was really Tom Selleck,” Miedecke told PEOPLE. “Nobody could stop her.”
According to Miedecke, Donald Whitaker first learned the full extent of the situation when adult protective services workers visited the couple’s home in January. She said the couple’s adult children tried to stop the financial losses by closing accounts and cutting up Karen’s credit cards.
“They cut up all of her credit cards, they closed the accounts, but she still found ways to get money,” Miedecke said. “She started hiding everything, but she’d be texting all day and all night, it was continuous.”
Miedecke said she believes Karen may have been experiencing early-stage dementia. She also said Donald struggled emotionally and financially after learning about the scam.
“He had said a couple of times to friends that he didn’t know how to handle this and he couldn’t cope with it,” Miedecke said.
The day before the couple’s deaths, Miedecke said Karen had again asked friends for money, claiming Selleck’s manager needed financial help after his wife died.
“That was the last straw for Donald,” Miedecke told PEOPLE. “He was so embarrassed. He could not believe she would ask her friends to participate in this scam.”
Miedecke said she hopes sharing Karen’s story will warn others about online scams targeting vulnerable people.
“The ramifications of someone stealing all of your money when you’re not capable of earning more money in your lifetime – look at what it causes,” she said.
The Riverside County Sheriff’s Office said homicide investigators are continuing to investigate the case. Selleck has not been accused of any wrongdoing or involvement.
