There is a moment of confusion at Bordeaux Begles’ training ground when I tell them I am here to see Ben Tameifuna.
‘Ah, Lekot?’ responds a man wearing their iconic burgundy training kit, symbolic of the city’s most famous product.
‘No, Ben Tameifuna, the prop…’
‘Oui, Ben Tameifuna, Le KOT… K… O… T… King… of… Tonga!’
He points me towards the training pitch, bathed in sunshine, where France superstars Matthieu Jalibert and Louis Bielle-Biarrey are among those sharpening up their famous attack. Some of the forwards are wearing playbook wristbands, like an NFL quarterback, to keep up with the plays being run.
Tameifuna is impossible to miss. 6ft tall and 23st 4lb, drenched in sweat in the 26°C heat. ‘Let’s grab a seat inside, where it’s cooler!’ says the hulking 34-year-old, who will look to marmalise Bath on Sunday in the Champions Cup semi-finals.
Big Ben Tameifuna bulldozed through Leicester Tigers in the Champions Cup last 16 and now has his sights set on PREM champions Bath
Tameifuna was born in Auckland but captains Tonga at international level, winning 43 caps
When our man Nik Simon arrives at Bordeaux training, Tameifuna is impossible to miss at 6ft tall and 23st 4lb
It does not take long to realise why the French supporters have taken him to their hearts. His booming laugh fills the room as he explains the difficulty of trying to catch the supercharged winger Bielle-Biarrey in training.
‘Yours! Your guy!’ he shouts, pointing into space. ‘He’s still got that babyface, which p***es you off as the oldest guy in the team. There’s not much to him but give him 10 metres and he’s in and out.
‘I remember when he came into the team four years ago. Ben Lam was our starting winger at the time. You had the young boys coming in and I saw Louis beat Ben, in and out, and thought, “Holy s***, this kid’s going to go far”. He got his first cap for France the same year and now he’s just signed for adidas on a massive deal.
‘He’s really smart, studying economics, so he’s got a good head on his shoulders. If I come up against him, I just try to herd him inside like a sheepdog and let the other guys tackle him!’
Tackling Tameifuna himself is an entirely different challenge. He will be throwing his weight around against wilting Bath defenders this weekend – including his old Racing 92 team-mate Finn Russell, with whom he set up a dining club in Paris, sampling the city’s top restaurants.
‘Maybe we’ll go for a drink at the Dog and Duck in town after the match,’ Tameifuna says. ‘It’s going to be a huge day for the city. Bath have internationals running through their team, with Finn, Ben Spencer, Henry Arundell, a big front row.
‘On the pitch, Finn has vision for space and a good pass. He’s fairly similar to Jalibert. We try to get the ball into Matthieu’s hands quickly so he can play. If we don’t get the ball to him then he’s like Kobe Bryant: “Get out the way and I’ll do it!”’
‘English teams are a bit more structured. Players have to be in certain places at certain times, while here it’s more about playing what’s in front of you and trying to keep the ball alive. You hear about French flair and sometimes they throw passes that make you think, “How the hell did they get that away?”. Finn threw me a few hospital passes in Paris, but I’ve forgiven him!’
‘We try to get the ball into Matthieu Jalibert’s hands quickly so he can play. If we don’t get the ball to him then he’s like Kobe Bryant: “Get out the way and I’ll do it!”’
‘Finn is fairly similar to Jalibert,’ says Tameifuna of his former Racing 92 team-mate Russell
Tucking into a chocolate yoghurt, Tameifuna explains how he will fuel up on half a dozen eggs before he takes on Bath’s Springbok prop Thomas du Toit. Bordeaux are bidding to win back-to-back Champions Cup titles and this weekend’s game is worthy of a final.
‘I’ll have a big breakfast on game day,’ he says. ‘Six eggs – scrambled – two toast and some mushrooms. Our bill for eggs is pretty big because the kids have two each as well – so that’s 10 eggs in one morning! My kids are bigger than the French kids!’
Bordeaux’s coaches trust Tameifuna to monitor his own weight.
‘I haven’t jumped on the scales for two or three seasons,’ he says. ‘The trainers just said, “Hey, you’ve been professional for this long so you know what works for your body, so just be professional and play well”.
‘They don’t really put numbers on me. I’m not trying to break myself in the gym. I’ve deadlifted 270kg, benched 198kg and squatted 280kg but that was when the knees were a bit better!
‘The coaches just push me to get off the ground and get my hands on the ball or get back in the defensive line. When I’m involved in the contact area then something can happen, so they just want to get me involved. I wear a GPS unit but it’s just for decoration! Once you stuff up, you’re out and the next guy is in. Whatever I’m doing now seems to be working.’
Squeezed into a pair of elasticated shorts, the Auckland-born prop continues: ‘The last time I jumped on the scales I was 148kg. When I first came to France, I bought an XXXXL shirt, got home, and it was too small. French XXXXL isn’t New Zealand XXXXL. Us Kiwi boys are not meant to shop in France! When I go home at the end of the season, I do my big shop in New Zealand. New jeans, new shirts, new shoes. I’ll just go out and spend 400 euros (£346) and bring it all over.’
The locals have grown familiar with the sight of Tameifuna riding around the city on his electric bike, pulling his kids behind in a trailer. Until recently, he had a Tongan flag clipped to his car window, but it blew off while he was driving down the motorway for a weekend in Biarritz.
Tameifuna celebrates Bordeaux’s euphoric win over rivals Toulouse in the quarter-finals
The trainers just said, “Hey, you’ve been professional for this long so you know what works for your body, so just be professional and play well”’
Bordeaux are trying to make it back-to-back Champions Cup titles as they welcome Bath for a blockbuster semi-final this weekend
He faced Montpellier on Saturday in the Top 14 and used the occasion to try to convince Billy Vunipola, the former England No 8, to switch his playing allegiance to Tonga at next year’s World Cup.
‘Billy’s such a big ball carrier and he’s still playing well for Montpellier,’ says Tameifuna. ‘Just imagine him going and then I come around the corner… It would be awesome to have him.
‘We’ve got England, Wales and Zimbabwe in the World Cup next year. I think it would be a big motivator for Billy to play against England in the pool and show them what they’re missing out on. We would love to have him in the Tonga team.
‘If we get the right people in the right places, putting the team first and doing what’s best for Tonga, then I think we can go far. If we can cause an upset over Wales or England, then that would put us a in a good position to go into the round of 16.’
Over the course of an hour, our conversation goes off on all sorts of tangents. Tameifuna talks about his dream to form a Pacific Islands combined team and reveals how he almost joined Harlequins a couple of years ago: ‘The coaches came to visit me when I was at Racing but everything fell through.’
He shares tips for Bath fans visiting Bordeaux – the Dog and Duck, Palatino restaurant and a vineyard owned by former France centre Remi Lamerat – describes team visits to a local chateau and reflects on his childhood in New Zealand.
‘I’ll tell you a story,’ he says. ‘We didn’t have much growing up. My parents were cleaners in Auckland and I used to go and help out after school. Then they moved to Hawke’s Bay. They split when I was young and there were five of us living in a two-bed apartment.
‘I needed some new boots when I was at school. I never forget it. I saw these flashy adidas boots in the newspaper and said, “Hey mum, can I get these boots?”. Mum was working in the orchards, picking apples, and she was like “Oh yeah, if you want those boots then come and work for it”.
Tameifuna (right) takes down England’s Billy Vunipola during the 2019 World Cup – now he is aiming to bring him over to Tonga’s national team for next year’s showpiece
‘If we can cause an upset over Wales or England, then that would put us a in a good position to go into the round of 16’
‘After school I would go and pick apples with her for a couple of hours before we went home. I did that for a couple of months and thought, “Surely I have enough now for those boots”. They were 200 NZD (now £87) at the sports shop and we ended up going to the warehouse and getting 90-dollar (£39) Slazenger boots.
‘I learnt that if you want something, you have to go get it yourself. Thanks, Mum, for teaching me the tough way. I bring that into rugby. If you want to be the best, you’ve got to put the work in before you get the treats.’
This weekend, the treat for Bordeaux’s King of Tonga would be a place in the Champions Cup final. Tameifuna’s body is covered in tattoos that tell the story of his journeyed life, featuring everything from his year of birth to the Waikato Chiefs badge.
‘I got this Bordeaux tattoo after we won the Champions Cup last year,’ he says, pointing towards his giant left calf. ‘Hopefully I can add another star to it this year.’
