Allison Holker has opened up about the aftermath of her late husband Stephen “tWitch” Boss’s death in her new memoir, This Far: My Story of Love, Loss, and Embracing the Light
In the book, which was released on Tuesday (February 4), the dancer speaks about the financial situation she was left in after the Ellen DeGeneres Show DJ’s suicide in 2022.
“It’s a misconception that I inherited Stephen’s wealth,” she writes. “The reality is quite different.”
She explains that Boss gave away “substantial sums of money” to friends and family while also spending “recklessly” on drugs in addition to “his weird art collection.”
“The tax bill that he left me with for the year he died was $1 million,” Holker says.
She continues to claim she had no idea what her late husband’s finances looked like when he died because the two of them had always had “separate bank accounts” throughout their nine-year marriage.
“I had been under the impression that the arrangement was working just fine,” she continues. “He managed his income, and I managed mine, and we divvied up the bills. Easy-peasy. Or so I thought.”
Holker says that dealing with the finances gave her a break from mourning, but she still considers herself to be “in the trenches” over two years later.
“If he had known how much of our hard-earned money would go to pay lawyers’ fees to clean up the mess he left me with, would it have made any difference?” she explains. “I’d like to believe it would have. Stephen left me with double the work, double the noise, double the hardships, double the confusion — and half the household earnings.”
In addition to her memoir, Holker also recently appeared on The Jamie Kern Lima Show podcast where she said Boss “never healed” after he went on an “Ayahuasca journey” before he died.
“I think it was a very big turning point for him. I feel like his heart was never really in the same place when he came back,” she said. “He could still find joy and he could still go day-by-day putting on his face and getting through the days, but there was something missing in his eyes.”
A powerful hallucinogenic brew made from rainforest plants, Ayahuasca has been used for centuries by indigenous communities in the Amazon in shamanic medicine.
The Alcohol and Drug Foundation states it can cause hallucinations and distorted senses that can affect a “person’s thinking, sense of time, and emotions.”
“It just kind of feels like he opened something up to himself that he never healed. And never fully escaped,” the dancer continued.
Holker tied the knot with the DJ in 2013. During their marriage, the couple welcomed two children: Maddox, nine, and Zaia, six. Boss also ended up adopting Holker’s 16-year-old daughter, Weslie Fowler.
If you are experiencing feelings of distress, or are struggling to cope, you can speak to the Samaritans, in confidence, on 116 123 (UK and ROI), email jo@samaritans.org, or visit the Samaritans website to find details of your nearest branch.
If you are based in the USA, and you or someone you know needs mental health assistance right now, call or text 988, or visit 988lifeline.org to access online chat from the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. This is a free, confidential crisis hotline that is available to everyone 24 hours a day, seven days a week. If you are in another country, you can go to www.befrienders.org to find a helpline near you
