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A woman decided to never bake for her husband again after a mishap with his birthday cake.
In a recent Reddit post shared to the popular “Am I The A**hole?” subreddit, she explained that her husband is lactose intolerant but loves banana cake, so she made him a vegan one from scratch on his birthday.
After noting the cake, he told her “he didn’t know why I had baked him some cake if I already knew he didn’t like them because he has not eaten it so many years that he doesn’t even like it anymore.”
“I felt hurt and didn’t say a thing there. I thought that he would appreciate me baking a cake for his birthday because that’s what his mom used to do when he was a kid and he always makes a comment about me not baking the kids’ cakes,” she wrote in the Reddit post.
The woman continued, expressing her confusion because she normally purchases a banana cake from the bakery for him, which he always praises.
“The rest of the celebration, I was trying to act normal, but he noticed and when everyone left, he asked if I was ok. I said I was never going to bake him something. His answer was, thank you and that I was being unfair with him because I should have already know[n],” the post continued.
She concluded by saying that the couple share a birthday, so she also made a second birthday cake for herself.
After posting, many people took to the comments section to validate the woman’s feelings, explaining that it doesn’t make sense for her husband to claim he hasn’t had a banana cake in “years” but also regularly enjoys the banana cakes she brings home from the bakery.
“So he eats banana cakes from the bakery all the time, but he also hasn’t had one in years? Yikes what a gaslighter. Luckily he only made himself look bad. Next time you go to the bakery, only buy yourself a treat. You don’t know what he likes after all!” one comment read.
Another commenter agreed, writing, “Why on earth would your husband tell a lie, in public, on both of your birthdays, in order to humiliate you and make you look bad in front of everyone after you’d put out all that special effort for him?”
“What your husband did was extremely hostile. Aggressively so. And then his gas-lighty thing (at last, Reddit, actual gaslighting!) where he tells you that you should already know. When you do know. You know that he eats banana cake all the damned time. So…?”
The commenter continued: “I’m not suggesting that this is the hill your marriage should die on, but lying to humiliate your wife in public on her birthday is a very, very bad look. I think that if I were you, I’d insist on marital counseling. Yesterday. And if he refused, I might take a nice little break until he agreed. It’s not okay for him to do this to you. You don’t have to tolerate it.”
A third commenter suggested that she dedicate some time to herself and stop trying to perform nice gestures for her husband.
“What did he do for YOUR birthday apart from humiliating you in public to make himself feel good? You don’t need to tell him you won’t bake for him. Just don’t. Also don’t buy bakery cakes. Don’t make his favorite food, make yours. Don’t buy the treats he likes. Just live your life without a care about what he thinks/feels/needs. You’ll see, it’s wonderful to be selfish,” they wrote.
