McFly drummer Harry Judd’s wife Izzy Johnston revealed this week that one of their three children has pathological demand avoidance (PDA).
“To the outsider looking in, they might see that as a sort of lazy parenting or a lack of discipline or whatever it is they want to say,” Johnston explained on Dr Alex George’s Stompcast.
“From the moment a child wakes up in the morning, they are being told to eat their breakfast, get dressed, brush your teeth,” Johnston said.
“And all these anxieties are forming in them – that people are putting pressure and demands on them. They don’t respond to authority or hierarchy. They want autonomy, they want to be in control.”
What is pathological demand avoidance?
PDA syndrome is a specific profile within the Autism spectrum, where children demonstrate a strong desire for independence and talk their way out of daily tasks due to feelings of anxiety, per the NHS.
“Pathological means that this demand avoidant behaviour is extremely debilitating for the young person,” guidance from the NHS on the condition explains.
“Actions are completely out of control of the individual; they are not being wilful or rude. Nor can it be regarded as a power game, or being naughty.”
“For the person concerned a request (demand) is likely to produce a level of anxiety that is beyond anything the rest of us can even begin to imagine,” it explains.
What are the signs of pathological demand avoidance?
Typical behaviours include: resistance to everyday demands, being sociable but lacking depth of understanding, excessive mood swings, refusal, fantasy play, and obsessive behaviour focused on others.
When PDA syndrome behaviours escalate, extreme signs can include physical or emotional harm, extreme exhaustion, destruction of property, uncontrollable crying, depression and anxiety.
How can parents support a child with PDA syndrome?
Children and young people with PDA syndrome don’t generally respond to the traditional approaches recommended for autism.
Instead, they respond better to more flexible, non-confrontational and personalised approaches. “The most important thing is to gain a strong understanding of the presentation of the individual,” NHS guidance reads.
Parents can also adopt an indirect style of communication. Instead of using “demand” words, like “need”, “must”, “it’s time to” or now” they can instead try phrases like “is it okay with you if” or “how do you feel about”.
It’s suggested by the NHS that parents with a child with PDA syndrome are flexible, demonstrate empathy, plan ahead and monitor their child’s stress levels in order to help them cope.
