There’s a new approach to finding the one that’s gaining traction online: The 6-7 dating trend.
While its name is reminiscent of the “6-7” expression that’s gone viral and seeped into the vocabulary of Gen Alphas, the two are very different.
The 6-7 dating trend encourages people to consider partners who fall in the middle of the arbitrary attractiveness scale — a six or seven out of 10. The idea is that these “mid-range” partners may be more reliable, thoughtful, and emotionally available than someone who ranks higher. Proponents of the theory argue that those perceived as conventionally attractive — a 10 out of 10 — are often less mature or attentive in relationships because high desirability can foster self-focus and reduce the incentive to invest emotionally. This, supposedly, makes a six or seven a smarter choice for long-term compatibility.
Susan Trombetti, a professional matchmaker and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking, tells The Independent that the trend is essentially the idea that “if you go for someone less hot, they will be more invested in the relationship and more grateful, as opposed to a ‘10’ that supposedly has more options.”
There are some benefits to this dating approach, namely the practise of de-centering more superficial factors, like the way someone looks. “It does encourage singles to let go of the spark and stop chasing ‘love at first sight,’ which is a good thing,” says April Davis, relationship expert and founder of Luma Luxury Matchmaking. “A lot of people idealize instant chemistry and ignore the real signs of long-term compatibility.”
The topic was recently discussed on Fox & Friends when guest Brianna Lyman, a correspondent at The Federalist, said she viewed the trend as people “lowering their standards a little bit” and settling instead of waiting for their so-called dream partner.
“I think everyone should feel like their partner is a 10. If I had a partner, and they said, ‘You’re not a 10,’ then you’re not my partner anymore,’” she said. “If people have a relationship or are looking for one, pick three or four categories that matter to you most, and find a 10 in those areas.”
Other criticisms of the trend go much deeper. One of its biggest flaws is the assumption that just because someone is conventionally “hot,” they lack maturity or the emotional qualities that make them a good partner.
“It’s a stereotype, and 10s can be the perfect partner, whereas you might overlook the red flags in a 6 or 7. It’s a great concept, but it doesn’t hold water,” Trombetti argues.
Trombetti refutes the idea that there’s any correlation between emotional maturity and good looks, as the 6-7 trend implies. “Someone good-looking can be emotionally available, mature, and able to connect emotionally, whereas someone not good-looking might not be,” she explains. “It’s a generalization.”
So why are we turning to a dating trend like this in the first place? It appears to be an act of desperation for singles who want a clear-cut way of dating that doesn’t leave them emotionally burnt out.
“The 6-7 trend is just more backlash from dating apps and digital dating,” Davis says. “Singles want something that works in their mind. Even though I think it sounds good, it only rings true in theory. You can, however, take away the good parts and use them in your dating search.”
She adds, “When you make that assumption, you start filtering out people who could actually be a great match. You’re making decisions based on a bias, not reality.
Indeed, research suggests that young adults are not feeling confident or interested in finding love. In the Institute for Family Studies’ 2025 National Dating Landscape Survey, which surveyed 5,275 unmarried young adults between ages 22 and 35, 74 percent of women and 64 percent of men said they had not dated or only dated a few times in the last year. Only one in three adults surveyed said they had faith in their dating skills.
People might also be drawn to this approach to dating because they have emotional baggage from previous relationships, like unresolved trauma or insecurities about the way they look.
Davis says that this theory could be viewed as a defense mechanism after heartbreak.
“It’s people saying, ‘I’m done chasing the most attractive, exciting person in the room if it only leads to heartbreak,’” she says. “People are trying to protect their peace. The issue is that reducing someone to a number on a scale, and it still keeps dating surface-level.”
The 6-7 dating trend is an attempt to move forward after failed relationships, and with the intention of not wasting time. And, as singles are more intentional about how they date in order to find something real, the Davis urges them to reframe the ideas behind the 6-7 dating trend, rather than follow it.
“The idea of valuing stability is right, but the way people are talking about it and assessing it is wrong. You don’t need to ‘date down’ to find a healthy relationship,” Davis says. “You need to choose better based on behavior, not assume someone’s personality and values based on how they look.”
