On the field, Terrell May is a scary sight. But the rugby league star has revealed that he came close to throwing it all away following a worrying bout of depression that almost cost him more than his NRL career.
The Wests Tigers star is happy these days, playing alongside his brother Taylan and coming within an inch of State of Origin selection for New South Wales this season.
However, he has revealed that he came close to taking his own life in 2024 when he was still contracted to the Sydney Roosters.
Speaking with Taylan on the Mayday podcast, Terrell opened up on how a terrifying bout of depression took him to the brink.
‘I was driving to Roosters training, I told him I’m quitting,’ he said.
‘I’m turning the car around to ring Robbo [coach Trent Robinson] to tell him I’m quitting. I’m done.
Terrell May has enjoyed a huge season for his new club Wests Tigers, but his life took a dark turn last year
‘Just cause I was just done, with everything.
‘I called my manager and I told him, I’m not playing anymore, rip my contract up, I don’t care anymore.
‘I don’t know what happened, it was just one of those days where I was just depressed as.’
Struggling to get the words out, Terrell admitted to Taylan that suicide had crossed his mind during his darkest time.
‘As bad as it sounds, I wanted to properly drive my car [into a wall],’ he said.
‘I was on the M4, I wanted to drive my car into the wall, bro.’
Taylan said that mental health was ‘no joke’ and asked his brother what he would say to somebody battling their own demons.
‘Now, I have coping mechanisms,’ Terrell said.
Terrell nearly quit the NRL and had thoughts of taking his own life while battling depression during his time at the Sydney Roosters
‘When i start feeling like s*** or like depressed, I think about [how] there’s other people doing it way worse in other countries and that kind of stuff.
‘I always say to myself … you life a hectic life, you’ve got a roof, you’ve got food, you’ve got all this stuff, like a house, a car.
‘Then there’s kids starving and dying and getting bombed and that kind of stuff.
‘It’s crazy. And you think your life is hard? Imagine them. They would probably love life if they were in my situation.
‘They would think ‘this is the best ever’. All those kids that are doing it tough. And all those families.
‘I know there’s people out there struggling with mental health and I say seek help.’
Terrell said that religion had helped him get through the darkest days and he constantly turned to his faith for strength.
‘To be honest, God fixed many problems in my life,’ he said.
Terrell (right) spoke about his mental health battles on the Mayday podcast with his brother Taylan (left)
‘Every time I’m feeling down, I know there’s one person I can count on – and that’s him.
‘He’s never going to change, he’s always going to be the same.
‘Every time I backslide or feel like I am getting away from him, he pulls me closer, when I get depressed and that.
‘That’s probably my biggest thing, going back to God.’
But Terrell urged anyone battling to seek professional medical help.
‘There’s people who should seek help. Even though we’ve got a good life in Australia, you should still seek help,’ he said.
For confidential 24-hour support in Australia, call Lifeline on 13 11 14
