It’s fair to say I know men pretty well.
Without dwelling on my former life (Google is your friend), I can say with confidence that I’ve encountered pretty much every ‘type’ of guy there is.
But there’s one category of the male species I’ve always been a little wary of.
The Wife Guy.
‘The Wife Guy! What’s not to love?’ I hear you cry. ‘What’s wrong with a man who worships his wife? Who floods social media with devotion? Why are you being so mean, Amanda?’
Well, buckle up. Let me tell you about some of the Wife Guys I’ve met in real life.
Brian To’o (pictured with wife Moesha) publicly declares his love for his family, but was also caught red-handed making lewd comments about his teammates and their spouses
An example of one of Brian’s fawning Instagram tributes to his wife
He’s the type of man we’ve all seen, dated or scrolled past. Forever posting about his ‘queen’. Splashing out on Valentine’s Day like he owns shares in Hallmark, proposing on camera… the list goes on.
For some women, he sounds perfect. What a catch! And yes, on paper, he seems to tick, tick, tick every box. And I acknowledge, without mockery, that there are single ladies who desperately want this kind of cheesy love in their lives.
But, for a moment, allow an older and more experienced woman to share her wisdom.
You see, a lot of these so-called Wife Guys can be real grubs when their wives aren’t around. There, I said it.
The blokes who bellow ‘I LOVE YOU!’ from the rooftops are usually the same ones whose locker-room chat could curdle milk.
Their office banter would have the HR lady keeling over.
And their WhatsApp groups? It’s the sort of stuff that would make Sam Newman reach for the mute button.
Trust me. The Wife Guy goes from Mr Perfect to Mr Potty Mouth the moment he’s out of earshot of his ‘queen’.
Nathan Cleary and girlfriend Mary Fowler were referenced in Brian To’o’s posts
Before they married, Brian declared girlfriend Moesha the ‘Future Mrs To’o’. The winger made good on his promise
Now, I don’t suggest Wife Guys are liars or cheaters or predators. Far from it. Most of them are ‘all talk, no trousers’, as we say in England.
But the point I’m trying to make is, they can be cheeky little f**s when they’re out with the boys and wifey is at home shampooing her hair.
And here I present exhibit A: Penrith Panthers star Brian To’o.
I like Brian – he’s cute and his relationship with his wife looks quite wholesome. So wholesome, in fact, that I consider him to be a card-carrying Wife Guy.
Just take a look at his Instagram.
There’s photo after photo of his lovely wife Moesha Crichton-Ropati, alongside captions dripping with devotion.
He posts cute videos of his son, and waxes lyrical about his picture-perfect life as a committed husband and father.
Brian famously proposed to Moesha moments after the full-time siren at Suncorp Stadium after winning 14-12 against the Rabbitohs in the NRL Grand Final in 2021.
We’re talking about a man who proclaims his love for his girl in front of the world on the biggest day of his career.
And this is the same Brian To’o who, on his wedding day, sang to his bride during a social media livestream, ‘I’m gonna eat your a*** tonight.’
This is the same Brian whose best man Jarome Luai thought it was a rib-tickler to ‘joke’ during his speech about him seeing another woman in the UK.
He later apologised – but come on, mate, it’s their wedding day. Read the room.
And, of course, it’s the same Brian who was caught making crude comments about his teammates’ wives and girlfriends – comments like ‘Holly destroyer’ in reference to Matt Eisenhuth’s wife Holly, ‘Elle smasher’ about Scott Sorensen’s wife Elle, and ‘Fowler slayer’ about Nathan Cleary’s partner Mary Fowler – at a recent awards night.
‘The blokes who bellow “I LOVE YOU!” from the rooftops are usually the same ones whose locker-room chat could curdle milk,’ writes DailyMail+ columnist Amanda Goff
Oh, dear. Tell us what you really think underneath all that romantic fluff, Brian?
Look, I know, he’s 27, he’s young. He’ll learn.
But all this does is confirm what I already knew about these type of blokes.
The louder a man bangs on about his ‘queen’ in public, the quicker he’s swearing like a wharfie after one beer and cracking jokes that would make Larry Flynt blush.
Before I fend off an army of irate Panthers supporters, hear me out, boys.
Yes, I acknowledge there are far worse guys out there than Brian To’o, whose only sin seems to be a filthy sense of humour.
But as a woman who could fill an encyclopedia on men, I can’t stand the types who play the saint while stacking the dishwasher on Tuesday, then turn into devils after a couple of schooners on Saturday.
The two-faced act of these so-called Wife Guys is about as predictable as a hangover.
So ladies, next time you see a man dropping to one knee in front of a crowd or flooding Instagram with heart emojis, don’t be dazzled. Ask his mates what he’s really like.
My advice, go for the quiet ones instead. At least you know what you’re getting.
