Joe Abbess (17), a popular trainee chef and regular gym-goer, was in the water up to his waist during a trip to the seaside town with friends on 31 May 2023 when conditions suddenly changed.
As the summer season gets into full swing, Vanessa Abbess has joined with her late son’s best friend, Joe Green (19), and HM Coastguard to make a difference in his memory.
Vanessa said
Joe was incredibly loved by his family and friends, and I feel it is so important to tell his story. He was being so sensible and safe. He was healthy. He was strong. He could swim.
It is so shocking that Joe died and shows you’re never entirely safe in the sea – but there are ways to reduce the risk, which we want everyone to know.
Joe Green was at the beach with Joe and other friends on the day of the tragedy. He and Vanessa are sharing how the loss still affects their lives as well as some easy-to-remember advice to enjoy the sea safely this summer.
See Vanessa and Joe speak on the MCA’s YouTube channel here Mum and best friend of rip current victim Joe Abbess share their grief and safety hopes – YouTube
A 12-year-old girl also died that day in a separate group hit by the same rip current. Eight others were rescued.
Rip currents are powerful movements of water, not always related to the tide, that can drag even strong people off their feet, under the surface or out to sea.
Vanessa and Joe’s safety tips
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Choose a lifeguarded beach and swim between the flags
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Go into the sea with a buddy
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In a rip current, don’t struggle and exhaust yourself. Instead Float to Live float with your head back and ears submerged
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If you see an emergency by the coast, call 999 and ask for the Coastguard
Vanessa, from Southampton, said
Even two years on, the world doesn’t feel quite right because there’s a great big Joe-shaped hole in our lives. Joe is, and will always be, loved and very missed every day.
We live on an island; people should know the dangers. You wouldn’t cross the road without thinking about it – don’t enter the sea without thinking about it. You need to think, what could happen? What do I do in an emergency?
Joe was a very caring young man – he would want people to know what happened that tragic day. And if by telling his story I can prevent this heartbreak happening to another family, that has got to be a benefit, in a strange way, because it’s absolutely awful to lose somebody you love like this.
Joe Green, also from Southampton, added
It 100% has affected my life. I mean, you just never think this would happen to your best friend.
I miss him loads. Somehow after more than two years, it still doesn’t feel real. It still feels like he’s going to come into my life whenever I turn a corner.
I think he’d be very proud. I think he’d be very happy that I’m doing this for him, and his mum is doing this for him, because we just want to get the message across that this can happen to anyone.
For guidance on staying safe by the coast, visit https//hmcoastguard.uk/safety-advice
HM Coastguard Divisional Commander James Instance said
Vanessa and Joe have shown real bravery in reliving their loss to highlight hidden risks at the beach and how you can stay safe.
As we approach the summer holidays and our seaside gets busier, it’s a perfect time to remind everyone of a few simple tips to ensure your fun trip ends with good memories.
Editor’s notes
Vanessa Abbess is available for remote or in-person media interview in Southampton on Wednesday 2 July, 10am-4pm. Requests via [email protected]
HM Coastguard Coastal Operations Area Commander Mike Buratti is available for remote media interview to give coastal safety advice from 1pm-4pm on Monday 30 June, Tuesday 1 July, Wednesday 2 July and Friday 4 July; and 10-12 on Thursday 3 July. Requests via [email protected]
Photos must be credited to Vanessa Abbess, Joe Green or the Maritime and Coastguard Agency, as indicated.
