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History-making former jockey Michelle Payne has revealed the harrowing final days of her sister prior to her death earlier this year.
Payne made history in 2015 when she became the first female jockey to win the Melbourne Cup.
Riding 100–1 outsider Prince of Penzance, she stunned the racing world with the victory.
After the race, Payne’s powerful speech on gender equality in the sport drew national and international attention.
However, Payne has suffered an unthinkable tragedy in retirement from the sport she loves – the death of her sister Bernadette.
‘It is with deep sadness that we confirm that Bernadette has passed away,’ the family said in a statement via Racing Victoria earlier this year.
Bernadette Payne, pictured right, with her brother Stevie, was one of ten children
Eight children from the Payne family went into the racing industry, including Michelle (pictured) and Bernadette
‘She had a very difficult and challenging time in recent years and we find solace in the hope that she is now at peace.
‘She was loved by many throughout her life. We ask that our family’s privacy is respected at this time. Thank you.’
At the time, Michelle also made a brief statement on social media: ‘Words can’t describe. We pray you are resting peacefully and we remember all of the beautiful memories.’
Now Michelle has revealed the decades-long battle with addiction and mental health that ultimately claimed the life of her sister.
She was one of eight of her siblings to go on to become a jockey, with Bernadette riding her first winner at Nhill in 1993.
During her racing career, Bernadette would secure 192 wins before retiring in 2009.
However an accident early in her career meant Bernadette was battling private demons behind the scenes.
‘She would have been numbing the pain, or numbing a depression, or maybe both. Probably both,’ Payne said in a wide-ranging interview with The Age.
Michelle said her sister was using painkillers to mask her depression after a racing fall early in her career
‘But by the end she was unrecognisable – Who is this person? – and scary. I had an intervention order against her.’
Bernadette was one of ten children of country Victoria trainer Paddy Payne, and was among at least eight siblings who became jockeys.
Her upbringing was marked by tragedy – their mother died in a car accident when Michelle was six months old, leaving Paddy to raise the children largely on his own.
Despite having such a large family, Bernadette would not reach out for help, Michelle revealed.
‘I just remember asking her, ‘What do you want?’ and the answer was so sad,’ she said.
‘She said, ‘I don’t want anything. I just want to go back to when we were little kids and everybody was playing together in the puddles and laughing.’
‘But she just wouldn’t accept any help.’
Michelle has broken her silence on her sister’s death in the hopes her message can help others battling mental health issues.
‘I talk about it – without any answers – because maybe someone going through a similar thing will come up with an idea, a different path. Or maybe they won’t feel alone,’ she said.
For confidential 24-hour support in Australia call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or via lifeline.org.au. In an emergency, call 000.
