A man controlled his wife through “physical and sexual violence”, leading to her taking her own life because she could not escape him, a court has heard.
Christopher Trybus, of Swindon, Wiltshire, is accused of the manslaughter of Tarryn Baird, who died in November 2017 at the age of 34.
The 43-year-old also faces charges at Winchester Crown Court of controlling and coercive behaviour and two charges of rape.
The coercive control charge alleges that Trybus controlled Baird through using and threatening violence towards her, sexually assaulting her, monitoring her whereabouts, limiting access to finance, threatening to reveal private information to her family and isolating her from her family.
Tom Little KC, prosecuting, told the jury that Trybus carried out “extensive and escalating controlling, coercive and manipulative behaviour including sexual violence of two rapes and other sexual assaults”.
He continued: “It took place over a sustained period of time behind closed doors and all of it during the course of a marriage.
“It led ultimately in November 2017 to a woman in just her thirties and whose name is Tarryn Baird taking her own life.
“She was the defendant’s wife and the prosecution say that the defendant is legally responsible for her death.”
Mr Little explained that Trybus controlled “many aspects of their relationship” even from abroad using the “threat and fear of physical and sexual violence”, leading to a deterioration in her “already weakened mental state and a cause of her deciding that she should take her own life”.
He added: “She did so in their own home.
“She had not managed to escape from him, despite seriously considering doing so on a number of occasions.
“However, we say that constricted by his control she could never go through with leaving him, no doubt fearing the consequences if she would try to do so, and instead she stopped his control over her in the only way she felt she could by taking her own life.”
Mr Little said that Baird, who worked at an opticians, left a note which said: “To my family, I am so sorry but I just couldn’t take it any more.”
Mr Little said the couple, both from South Africa, moved to the UK in 2007 and married in 2009.
The prosecutor said that at first Baird reported suffering injuries from being “clumsy” such as during exercise or falling down the stairs.
He said that Baird had been diagnosed as possibly having PTSD, having witnessed and suffered from armed car-jacking incidents in South Africa.
He added that Baird told her GP in May 2016 that she “occasionally felt life was not worth living” and by August that year was “struggling with her mental health”.
Mr Little said that as the “tsunami” of incidents built up, Baird made repeated contacts with an employee of Swindon Women’s Aid (SWA) and her GP.
But when offered spaces in a refuge, she turned them down, only later going on to repeatedly seek a place and not be able to find one.
Mr Little said that Baird went on to reveal to her GP that Trybus had raped her on October 19 2016 following an argument over the defendant paying for her cousin’s school fees.
Mr Little said: “He grabbed her wrists and had sex with her against her will and also hit her around the face with what she believed was a phone.”
He said that Baird also told the SWA worker that he had “strangled her causing her to pass out” and she blamed herself because she had told the defendant she wanted to leave him.
Mr Little said: “That is gas-lighting in any ordinary sense of the word.”
Trybus, who travelled abroad regularly for his work as a software consultant and developer, is alleged to have raped Baird a second time in November 2016.
The prosecutor added: “Other things that Tarryn Baird said about the nature of the relationship were that the defendant had told her parents she was addicted to drugs and alcohol, and that this would prevent them believing her if she told them about the domestic abuse.”
He described this as “classic domestic abuse perpetrator behaviour”.
Trybus denies the charges and the trial continues.
The national domestic abuse helpline offers support for women on 0808 2000 247, or you can visit the Refuge website. There is a dedicated men’s advice line on 0808 8010 327. Those in the US can call the domestic violence hotline on 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Other international helplines can be found via www.befrienders.org
If you are experiencing feelings of distress, or are struggling to cope, you can speak to the Samaritans, in confidence, on 116 123 (UK and ROI), email [email protected], or visit the Samaritans website to find details of your nearest branch.
