Madonna has opened up about the emotional turmoil she experienced when she and ex-husband Guy Ritchie became embroiled in a custody battle over their son Rocco.
Madonna and Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels director Ritchie married in 2000, the same year Rocco was born. They divorced in 2008. In 2016, Rocco, who was 16 at the time, decided to move to London to live with his father while she was on her Rebel Heart Tour.
Speaking in her first-ever long-form podcast interview for On Purpose with Jay Shetty, Madonna, 67, said: “There were moments in my life I wanted to cut my arms off… I actually contemplated suicide.”
She continued: “I would say probably one of the most painful moments in my life where I honestly couldn’t see the forest for the trees was when I went through a custody battle with my son.”
“Even though my marriage didn’t work out… I mean a lot of people’s marriages don’t work out. They marry the wrong people. They’re not aligned. They’re not meant for each other. Someone trying to take my child away from me was like, they might as well just kill me.”
She continued: “That’s really how I was thinking. And I was on tour at the time, so I had to go on stage every night. I would just be lying on the floor of my dressing room sobbing. I really thought it was like it was the end of the world. I couldn’t take it. I just couldn’t take it.”
Madonna went on to say that she’s now repaired the relationship with her son, explaining: “Thank God I don’t feel that way anymore… I’m happy to say that I’m really good friends with my son, but I couldn’t see it then. I really thought it was the end of the world. So, you know, thank God I had a spiritual life.”
The Queen of Pop reiterated several times in the interview that she “wouldn’t be here” if she hadn’t embraced spiritualism.
“You need to be spiritual to be successful,” she said. “Success is having a spiritual life, period. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t have one.”
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“Spiritual wisdom is not helpful when everything’s going your way,” she added. “It’s helpful when you’re challenged and when you’re happy.”
If you are experiencing feelings of distress, or are struggling to cope, you can speak to the Samaritans, in confidence, on 116 123 (UK and ROI), email [email protected], or visit the Samaritans website to find details of your nearest branch
If you are based in the USA, and you or someone you know needs mental health assistance right now, call or text 988, or visit 988lifeline.org to access online chat from the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. This is a free, confidential crisis hotline that is available to everyone 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
If you are in another country, you can go to www.befrienders.org to find a helpline near you.
