When Jesy Nelson invited documentary makers into her home, she had no idea that just two days in, she’d be rushed to hospital for an emergency operation. Four months pregnant, she needed surgery to treat twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome, a life-threatening condition in which twins share a placenta but have unbalanced blood flow. The former Little Mix singer remained in hospital for the next three months until her babies were born prematurely; they’ve since been diagnosed with spinal muscular atrophy type 1, a disease that causes muscle wastage. Doctors told Nelson it was unlikely her twins will ever be able to walk.
In the first episode of Amazon Prime’s six-part series, Jesy Nelson: Life After Little Mix, we witness startlingly candid scenes involving the 34-year-old pop star as she navigates a series of devastating revelations about her pregnancy. At the same time, she is unpacking her experiences as a member of one of the biggest girl groups the UK has ever seen – with much teasing of an upcoming reveal surrounding the “real reason” she quit the band back in 2020.
Nelson was born in Romford, east London, the second youngest of four children to parents who separated when she was five. From a young age, she knew she wanted to entertain people – whether through singing, dancing or acting, she wasn’t sure. She just knew she wanted to make people smile. She got off to a rocky start, scarred first by a croaky debut performance at stage school and later by a fateful audition for The X Factor in 2011, aged 20. Take That’s Gary Barlow was unimpressed; “generic” and “lacking individuality” was how he described her performance of “Bust Your Windows” by Jazmine Sullivan.
As Nelson points out herself, perhaps her distressed reaction to Barlow’s criticism showed early warning signs that she might not be cut out for life in the spotlight. Instead of listening to the warm encouragement from Barlow’s fellow judges Louis Walsh, Tulisa Contostavlos and Kelly Rowland, she fled backstage, crying, while the TV crew shoved cameras in her face. She visibly crumpled further when Rowland said she thought Nelson would be better-suited in a band. Ultimately, she made it through but was knocked out in the next round… only to be summoned back by the judges along with Leigh-Anne Pinnock, Perrie Edwards and Jade Thirlwall, who had also auditioned as solo singers. Little Mix were formed right there onstage, given mere moments to make what turned out to be a life-changing decision.
“I was so carefree and happy,” Nelson says, fighting back tears as she recalls the Missy Elliott-obsessed kid she once was. “The version of me before X Factor… I’ll never get that back. And I loved that version of me. That was probably the realest, most authentic version of Jesy that there ever was.”
Nelson has already been the subject of a BBC documentary about the bullying she suffered while in Little Mix. Despite the hit singles and the sold-out arenas, she became “obsessed” instead with reading negative comments about herself, googling searches like “Jesy fat” or “Jesy ugly” and seeing what would come up. “Everyone told me to ignore it,” she says, “but it was like an addiction.” The tabloids hounded her, publishing unflattering photos along with stories about her estranged father’s criminal record.
The first episode of Life After Little Mix retreads some of this familiar ground, but it does more to show the warm, funny young woman Nelson has become now that she’s seemingly escaped the online toxicity. There are genuine laugh-out-loud moments as she fusses over her grey hairs (“I started getting them when I was 25!”), wonders if her pregnancy bump is showing (it is), and beams at her (now ex) fiance and father of her children, the sweet-natured musician Zion Foster. At the episode one premiere, which Nelson attended, the audience howled with glee at the scene in which her mum remarks on the size of the singer’s pregnancy knickers.
Undoubtedly, though, even the episode’s brightest moments are darkened by what she’s going through in real time. There are endless scenes of Nelson in a grey doctor’s office having yet another scan, with Foster and her supportive mum, Janice, by her side. In these moments, Nelson is truly remarkable – there’s no facade, no attempt to mask her feelings of helplessness. What’s clear is her pragmatic attitude, an outlook that fuels her need for a solution, a fix – and what makes it all the more devastating when she realises she can’t find one.
We don’t yet learn “the real reason” Nelson left Little Mix, although the episode certainly hints that this bombshell will be dropped in one of the other five episodes. When she quit in December 2020 (Little Mix continued as a trio until going on an indefinite hiatus after their 2022 tour), Nelson said it was due to the impact that being in the group had on her mental health. “I’m ready now, to tell my side of the story,” she announces in a teaser. It’s certainly titillating – a classic TV cliffhanger – but you have to wonder if dredging up past grievances will undo this moving character portrayal we’re given in episode one. So far, though, Life After Little Mix is a commendably frank documentary from a woman who is using her own distressing situation to raise awareness for others.
‘Jesy Nelson: Life After Little Mix’ is on Amazon Prime from Friday 13 February
