Irish actor Jessie Buckley has spoken about her experience on BBC talent show I’d Do Anything, which catapulted her to fame as she competed for the role of Nancy in a West End production of Oliver!
In an interview with British Vogue in January, the Oscar-nominated Hamnet star opened up about being criticised for her appearance during her time on the show.
Speaking to Lauren Laverne on Radio 4’s Desert Island Discs, Buckley said: “I don’t like that part of it. I think that was a young woman who’s trying to discover her body and herself, like we all do. And I wish that hadn’t happened.
“I think I was putting a brave face on, because really what I wanted to do was sing and I wanted to act, and I wanted to be part of this industry, and all of a sudden you had to be a certain kind of person.
“And I just wasn’t, I never will be. That’s just not me.”
Buckley added: “I’m so proud of that girl. I think she did great and I don’t regret any of it.”
The 36-year-old actor, from Killarney, Co Kerry, has been a juggernaut through awards season, receiving a string of awards for her performance as William Shakespeare’s wife Agnes Hathaway, historically known as Anne, in Chloe Zhao’s adaptation of Maggie O’Farrell’s novel, Hamnet.
The Independent’s review singled out Buckley for particular praise, with critic Clarisse Loughrey writing: “Like Mescal, she’s well-placed to express Agnes’s particular grief. When she speaks or cries or twists her mouth into a disbelieving smirk, it’s like peering into the mouth of a cave, all earthiness and unfathomable depth.
“She wails not only with her pain, but with her mother’s, and her mother’s mother’s. It’s through her we feel that quiet tether transcending all of human history. Because, while O’Farrell notes there are many ways to grieve, it will still always seek out a hand to hold in the dark.”
On Desert Island Discs, Buckley also spoke about her “extraordinary” mother, explaining: “My parents are no longer together, and she lives in Dublin, and she’s writing her own story right now at 60 years of age, and I’m so proud of her.”
She sounded emotional as she gave her first song choice, which was a rendition of her mother, Marina, singing “O Holy Night” in church.
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Buckley also recounted her struggle with her mental health as a teenager, crediting her love of music and theatre for helping with her recovery.
She described acting as “essential” and said it is “like water to me”, adding that her passion for her craft helped her to overcome an eating disorder and depression during her school years.
“I didn’t know how to be alive the way I wanted to be, and it was difficult,” she said. “But I do not for a second regret it, and I think I’ve been able to transform it and recognise our vulnerabilities as humans in the world.
“You can’t walk through life not being affected, but you can transform that into something that allows you to be more human and alive in the way that you want to be.”
She continued: “When I moved to London, I still wasn’t out of the woods.
“I think there were moments where I was like, ‘if I don’t get better here, this music, this being part of theatre – I’m not going to be able to do this any more, and I probably won’t survive’.
“And that was the thing that turned it in my head, I was like, ‘I don’t want to sacrifice that, this is bigger than that’, and won.”
The actor remembered the first time she performed on stage and said: “It was like drinking water, you know? I just think, the more I did it, the more I realised this is essential to me.”
Listen to the full Desert Island Disc episode on BBC Sounds and BBC Radio 4 from Sunday at 10am.
Additional reporting by Press Association.
