- Ivan Cleary has elaborated on some of his darkest moments
- Says he regrets not initially sharing his struggles with wife
- If you need support, contact Lifeline 13 11 14 or Beyond Blue 1300 224 636
Penrith Panthers coach Ivan Cleary has gone into new detail on his mental health struggles, revealing that he wished he’d spoken to his wife Rebecca about what he was going through.
The four-time premiership-winning coach is on top of the world after Penrith’s historic victory against the Storm in the NRL decider, but few are aware how much the reserved 53-year-old has struggled in his private life.
When Cleary returned to Penrith in 2019 after a rough stint with the Tigers, he noticed his mental health deteriorating.
‘I had a few instances when I was at the Warriors, but in the 2019 season I was feeling very overwhelmed, for so many different reasons. Not the least being the fact I was coaching Nathan,’ he told SEN radio.
‘I wasn’t in a great head-space and I thought that was affecting Nathan as well, which sparked huge feelings of guilt for me.
‘The Panthers board put so much faith in me to bring me back to the club and I really felt like I was letting them down. I guess that responsibility can be a burden at times.’
Panthers coach Ivan Cleary has gone into new detail about his lowest moments
Cleary says he didn’t even tell his wife Rebecca (pictured) about how he was feeling – and he regrets that now
Cleary says he regrets not initially opening up to his wife Rebecca about how he was really feeling.
‘I wasn’t talking about it to anyone and I didn’t even tell my wife about it,’ he said.
‘And that was the mistake I made back then.
‘And that’s part of what I’m trying to communicate in the book. It’s so important to talk about these things.’
Cleary, who ended up taking antidepressants, wants more men to talk about their problems in a bid to save lives.
‘The thing about men is, we just don’t talk about depression,’ Cleary told News Corp in October.
‘You feel like you’re a failure if you do.
‘And you know, there’s this thing that you’ve got to be strong enough to be able to carry the can and get through it.
Cleary (pictured with son Nathan after the 2024 NRL final) wants more men to talk about their problems in a bid to save lives
‘I’m going to talk about men in this instance, where they have this responsibility to be the breadwinner for their family or just have other struggles in their lives.
‘But it doesn’t mean you’re not resilient and or not tough, just because you need to talk it through.
‘And often just talking about it actually helps, you realise that other people are going through it and, and that can sometimes just give you the kick along to keep going.’
If this has raised any issues for you, contact Lifeline on 13 11 14, or Beyond Blue on 1300 224 636
