In a post-match press conference which seemed to be getting in the way of a good drinking session on Sunday, Ben Stokes looked like a man harbouring an acute sense of injustice about other people’s questions.
The touchiness was there from the off, after an opening inquiry about the lamentable state of the Lord’s pitch against New Zealand. ‘God. Straight in on the pitch rather than the victory,’ he replied behind a forced smile, but his booze references – significant in the light of events which were about to unfold – reflected just how much the Brendan McCullum alpha male boys’ club vibe is an indelible part of the modern England.
It wasn’t just Stokes’ observation that these media duties were stalling ‘a proper drink with the boys,’ but that the poor Lord’s batting track had provided an entertaining spectacle. ‘Especially if you’re in hospitality and the alcohol’s free, so that’s all good.’
Not such a surprise, you might say, that within hours, Stokes was breaking an ECB midnight curfew, imposed after the kind of people he seems to resent had the temerity to report Harry Brook’s altercation with a nightclub bouncer in New Zealand.
The captain, who earns around £1million a year from his central contract, perhaps considers the curfew to be another unwelcome institutional imposition.
It would have helped if someone at the top of the ECB had possessed the courage to inform Stokes long ago that leadership of the national team requires class, discipline, humility. And to point out to him that his victimhood shtick has been wearing very thin for quite some time now.
The post-match press conference seemed to be getting in the way of a good booze up for England captain Ben Stokes
Stokes and Gus Atkinson were to be caught up in a nightclub incident in the early hours of Monday morning after breaking the England cricket team’s curfew
You can take your pick of his nasty little put-downs. The peremptory tone with the BBC’s Jonathan Agnew, who had the temerity to suggest last winter that England accept the offer to play a pink-ball tour match before encountering that very same challenge in Brisbane. His disgraceful dismissal of Michael Vaughan and Sir Ian Botham as ‘has-beens’ because they had the temerity to question England’s preparations for that tour.
This how it’s become, though, hasn’t it? No one dares challenge the all-seeing and all-knowing Stokes and Brendon McCullum, the self-styled saviours of Test cricket.
As the ECB finds itself in a kind of Groundhog Day – another city, another nightclub, another altercation, another press strategy – it is important to point out that McCullum is at the core of the indiscipline which has infected our national team.
The man’s retention after the Ashes defeat was beyond belief. His observation after conceding the Ashes in 11 days of cricket that he wanted to carry on as England coach because ‘it’s a pretty good gig and good fun’ encapsulated the lazy nonchalance of the culture.
But Stokes is the leader. The Englishman. The one who really can influence and define the way things work. His alleged late-night set-to with a Saracens academy player renders his supposed ‘displeasure’ with Brook over his own nightclub episode utterly risible.
Brook said that he had turned to Stokes for a little counselling because of the Test captain’s involvement in a brawl outside a Bristol nightclub in 2017. ‘He obviously wasn’t best pleased but we had a few conversations and we quickly moved on from that.’
The plan will presumably be the same meaningless words of contrition from Stokes in the days ahead, though this is actually something more than one more indiscretion.
After an Ashes winter which required a sense that a chastened and contrite England were ready to search their souls and look within for a re-set, we have been presented with the sense that Stokes sees the detractors as the problem. That discipline, precision, graft and midnight curfews are simply not for the cool guys.
Stokes’ post-match booze references reflected just how much the Brendan McCullum alpha male boys’ club vibe is an indelible part of the modern England
The culture embedded by McCullum is so endemic that the question of succession is a mess. Can we really bet the house on Harry Brook sweeping the place clean?
Though McCullum was the one who should have been shown the door, months ago, Stokes’ own position is untenable, now, because it is clear that England cannot rebuild or renew with a leader so disinclined to set an example and shake himself from this lazy air of entitlement and indignation. His peerless talent has always been enough, but no longer.
The culture embedded by McCullum – ‘Baz’ – is so endemic that the question of succession is a mess. Can we really bet the house on Brook sweeping the place clean? But a change of any kind is required to rid England of this cocksure swagger and indolence.
Behind the Stokes press conference performance on Sunday was a sense that there were scores to be settled with those who questioned England’s ability to bat with discipline.
‘The ability to dig in, to stick in and all that kind of stuff,’ as Stokes put it. ‘Such an easy thing to say, yeah, but put your pads on and go out there and face Ollie Robinson if you want,’ he observed, leaving you wondering why such an aggrieved individual actually still wants this job.
