Queen Camilla once confided in Boris Johnson that she “whacked” a groper in the goolies with her shoe when he tried to attack her on a train, according to a new book about the monarchy – and all I can say is, what a woman.
It doesn’t surprise me that the forthright royal, who’s been a longstanding campaigner for victims of domestic abuse and sexual assault, stood up for herself in the face of harassment – and while I’d never advocate vigilante violence, I don’t think there are many of us that would blame her for doing what she did.
The revelations come in a new book by veteran royal correspondent Valentine Low, Power And The Palace. It claims that during his time as mayor of London, Camilla disclosed to the former PM that she had used a shoe to hit a man who tried to touch her on a train when she was a schoolgirl.
Johnson’s former communications director, Guto Harri, told Low: “She was on a train going to Paddington – she was about 16, 17 – and some guy was moving his hand further and further.” And when Johnson asked Camilla what happened next, she reportedly replied: “I did what my mother taught me to. I took off my shoe and whacked him in the nuts with the heel.”
Believe me, Camilla, we’ve all been there. Show me a woman who’s lived in (or simply visited) London and I guarantee you’ll find an example of that same woman being harassed on public transport – by a man.
It is, depressingly, par for the course for most of us – and I say this as a Londoner who’s lived in the capital my whole life. The main culprit? Men on London Underground, where packed train carriages are easy fodder for wannabe gropers.
But there are bad men on buses, too. There’s no way I would ever allow my teenage daughter to take the night bus home like I did, not when I know – firsthand, as Queen Camilla does – just how dangerous it can be for women.
Our stories are often anecdotal, because we know for a fact that women rarely report what has happened to them – after all, there are few areas of crime where the British justice system is so particularly ill-equipped to advocate for women as rape and sexual assault. Just this week, for instance, a watchdog warned that the handling of rape cases at an early stage by the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) is “not good enough”, risks a poor service to victims – and said that “urgent improvements” are needed.
When I ask female friends who live in London whether they’ve ever had any negative encounters on the Tube, almost every one of them has a story. “I got followed by a man moving from carriage to carriage on the East London line late at night,” one friend tells me. “Each time he followed me, he sat right next to me – until I ran off the train last minute before the doors closed at Wapping. I didn’t report it, though.”
When I ask her why she didn’t, she says: “There was nobody at the station to report it to. Wapping doesn’t have anyone visible around after about 9pm. Plus, I was far too busy making sure I got somewhere – safe and fast – to think about stopping to tell anyone.
“The police wouldn’t have been able to do anything, either, as I didn’t know if he got off at Wapping or carried on to another stop – it would have been a wild goose chase for them and a waste of time.”
“I’ve been rubbed up against on the Tube too many times to count,” another friend reveals, saying that the experiences were “gross” – while another recounts how she was followed home by a man at a deserted train platform at Catford and had to run.
Like the MP Stella Creasy, who recently revealed that she was hassled by a man on the Victoria Line, I’ve had far too many unsavoury experiences on public transport – from taking a friend on the Tube for her first ever visit to London, aged 19, when a man sat next to us and made obscene gestures with his tongue and fingers; to being followed this summer, carriage to carriage on the Elizabeth Line, by a burping and farting man on the 8am commute to work.
I moved away as it became apparent that he wasn’t well – that’s what I assumed, anyway, given he was cackling, constantly breaking wind and releasing deafening guttural burps (I was actually worried he might vomit) – but as soon as he clocked I was retreating in fear and disgust, the challenge was on, apparently.
He started laughing even more loudly and following me, still burping as I weaved my way through crowds of commuters to put some distance between us. Other passengers clocked what was happening, but nobody stepped in – perhaps no surprise, when you consider that BTP data shows that while more than a third of women have been sexually harassed on train and Tube journeys, only one in five people who have witnessed incidents of sexual harassment reported it to police.
I just had to keep moving, faster and faster – and then waited until the last minute and jumped off the train as the doors were about to close, so that he couldn’t follow me anymore.
There are so many more stories: the man who came up to talk to me while I was travelling in an empty carriage home from visiting a friend at night; who saw I had my headphones on and did what too many men do to women when they’re clearly wanting to be left alone: he gestured at me to take my headphones off so we could chat.
When I refused to do so – shaking my head to signal clearly that I didn’t want to chat, that I was quite content minding my own business, actually – he got aggressive. They always do.
A damning report released last August revealed violent attacks towards women more than doubled in the two years previous, with more than a third of women were subjected to sexual harassment or sexual offences while commuting via train or Tube, according to data published by the British Transport Police Authority. Figures also revealed a surge from 7,561 in 2021 to 11,357 in 2023 of crimes against women and girls.
I don’t have the answers as to why so many men harass women on public transport – whether it’s opportunist, a “misinterpretation”, or “accidental” – but I suspect the depressing truth is simply “because they can”. And I haven’t yet, hand on heart, “whacked” anyone in the goolies like the Queen. But I’m not saying that I wouldn’t – if pushed hard enough.
Perhaps it’s time for those women-only train carriages Jeremy Corbyn suggested 10 years ago…
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