‘I was conned out of £3,500 by internet catfish Kerry Gray’ | UK News

Peter was ready to give love another go when he first matched with a nurse called Charlotte on a dating app.

Pretty, with big brown eyes and a chatty, bubbly personality, she seemed “down to earth” and they appeared to have a lot in common.

Peter – not his real name – felt an instant connection. He and Charlotte began sending each other WhatsApp messages and voice notes, discussing their jobs and day-to-day lives.

She sent him photos of a smiling woman in her 20s with braided hair in a blue nurse’s uniform, and images showing a desk with files on it, seemingly snapped during her working day.

Peter would respond with pictures of whatever he had been up to.

Charlotte gave the impression of being from a wealthy family, telling Peter her dad owned a farm.

She seemed to have a taste for the finer things in life, talking about her horse and her love of designer handbags.

Peter believed he had finally met someone special and was excited to see how things would progress.

He even told his mum and sister he was dating someone online.

But a year later, he realised Charlotte was not who she claimed to be.

In reality, she was serial fraudster Kerry Gray – and she had conned him out of nearly £3,500.

Gray, 37, of Harlow, Essex, was handed a suspended sentence on Wednesday for swindling Peter and two other men out of more than £11,000 in total.

They had all been the victim of “catfishing”, where a criminal uses a false identity to gain the trust of someone online before extorting or scamming them.

Peter says that Gray’s lies were so well thought out they “warped your sense of reality” and that her betrayal has left him with trust issues.

Peter had been struggling with depression for a long time before deciding to start dating again.

After matching on dating app Plenty of Fish, he began chatting with Charlotte daily.

“She was really nice. We had lots of things in common, we clicked and the conversation flowed,” says Peter.

“We got on and she was easy to talk to.”

At that point, he had no suspicions about her. “I was talking to a real person,” he says.

He had no reason to doubt she was a nurse. He had seen her pictures, and she seemed to have extensive medical knowledge, although the court would later hear this was not the case.

Peter asked Charlotte out on dates several times, but she always had an excuse, often at the last minute, and they never actually met in real life.

After a while, she began to ask Peter for money. This would usually be for relatively small amounts, and always with the promise she would pay him back.

She requested money for taxi fares, typically £30 a time, claiming she could not drive due to her mental health and the medication she was on.

She insisted he send the money direct to an account in the name of Kerry Gray, telling Peter that was the name of her friend with a taxi app.

Requests for money were often accompanied by sad stories. Peter says she would always “pull on the heartstrings”, claiming her mother had been sectioned and her father had suffered a stroke, before telling him they died in the space of four weeks.

More lies followed, and Charlotte began to ask for larger amounts.

As her requests continued, Peter had to ask his parents for funds to “help keep me on my feet”.

“I felt guilt because I lied that I was in a bad situation and I wasn’t getting paid enough and I was struggling. But I was giving my money away,” he says.

However, Peter was beginning to have suspicions about Charlotte.

She was still refusing to meet him, but they began video-calling. Each time, though, Charlotte would be sitting in darkness.

He tried to end their relationship, but each time she would threaten to take her own life, and send him images of legs with fresh self-harm marks.

Having experienced depression himself, Peter thought her behaviour was a “cry for help”.

Her biggest lie was still to come. She told him she was in hospital because her childhood cancer had come back, and asked him for £1,000 to cover medical fees.

Despite having concerns, he paid. But then he phoned the hospital ward where she claimed she was being treated.

They said they had no trace of her, and Peter realised he had been duped. He stopped contacting Charlotte.

But that did not stop her bombarding him with messages, begging him to respond.

She said she would pay him back – but needed help with yet another family crisis.

It left Peter feeling like a target.

“I didn’t know who this person was, and now I’m getting all these relentless messages and they are not who they say they are,” he says.

“I was worried for my safety. She knew where I lived, and I had been targeted for a reason.”

He contacted police, and Gray was later arrested, telling officers: “I’m such an idiot. I’m sorry – I feel really bad now.”

It later emerged in court that, far from a privileged upbringing, Gray had spent time in care as a child and was living off universal credit, sleeping on a mattress on the floor of her aunt’s house.

Peter says he had been in relationships during university and was well versed in the dating world.

He had a good job and considered himself tech-savvy.

“I am careful of catfishes. Everyone comes to ask me if things are a scam,” he says.

Yet there he was, giving money he could not afford to Gray, which sometimes left him eating beans on toast for weeks on end.

“I feel so silly, because it was so casually done,” says Peter.

“I’ve never met her. It makes me feel stupid; it makes me feel pathetic. I have had massive, massive trust issues.”

Such is the shame and embarrassment he feels, Peter has never spoken openly about what happened.

He does not even want to reveal how old he is or even the general area in which lives.

“I would be a laughing stock,” he says.

“It’s something I am going to live with. I am never going to tell anyone.”

The court heard two other men also fell victim to Gray’s lies, telling very similar stories.

One said Gray claimed to have suffered debit card fraud and had lost access to her bank account.

She asked for £30 for petrol to take her nephews and nieces out – but he kindly sent her £80.

Her demands for money grew, until he eventually sent her a screenshot showing her his bank account was empty.

Gray’s third victim ended up transferring £6,626 to her in 119 transactions.

The court heard she spent the money on takeaways, gambling, alcohol and drugs.

Romance fraud, as it is termed, has seen a notable increase in recent years, with 8,645 reports made in England and Wales in 2023-24, a 7.6% rise on the previous financial year.

In Essex, dating scams are among the top five frauds, with losses amounting to £2.3m in 2024, and an average loss per offence of £13,130.

Det Con Georgette Hixon, of Essex Police, who worked on the case, describes Gray as someone who “put on the waterworks” to try to get out of trouble, and believes she has more victims who have yet to come forward.

“I think anyone can fall victim to romance fraud,” she says.

“All of the victims felt ashamed and embarrassed and it is a huge turmoil realising that they have been victims of fraud.

“Everything that they thought they had known while speaking to the fraudster is actually a lie – so that is quite hard for them to come to terms with.”

She says the key message is that it is not the fault of the victim, and that they can also suffer emotionally, as well as financially.

“With romance fraud it is also the loss of a relationship and that’s where a lot of the shame came from; with the realisation that it was not real.”

According to Action Fraud, signs of romance fraud include a person being secretive about their relationship or becoming hostile or angry when asked about their online partner.

They may have sent, or be planning to send, money to someone they have never met in person.

Advice for protecting yourself against scams includes:

• Be suspicious of any requests for money from someone you have never met in person, particularly if you have only recently met online

• Speak to your family or friends to get advice

• Profile photos may not be genuine, so do your research first. Performing a reverse image search using a search engine can help you find photos that have been stolen from somewhere else

Advice for supporting a victim of a scam includes:

• Reassure your loved one you are there for them and it is not their fault

• Improve your own understanding about romance scams

• Remember to look after yourself, too – supporting someone through romance fraud can be tough

Source: Action Fraud / Victim Support

• If you have been affected by some of the issues raised in this article, help is available at Action Line.