Hint: it is more than a hashtag
If you happen to spend way too much time on Instagram (not a
great idea), you are probably familiar with the trend of “self-love” or
“self-care” posts – usually by absurdly attractive 20-somethings sitting in a
bubble bath or climbing a scenic vista, followed by the caption, “Just had to
get away for a while to take care of myself. #selflove #gratitude #blessed”
Meanwhile, their poor friend or partner probably spent three
hours taking pictures of them in thirteen poses trying to make it look as
natural as possible.
The message of self-love often gets distorted on social
media because it is frequently reduced to surface level expressions – like
affirmations, luxury purchases, or curated photos; rather than the deeper,
often uncomfortable work that it actually requires.
Self-love is not necessarily is a spa treat or expensive
vacation. Self-love is when you optimise your decisions based on your long-term
mental and physical health.
In reality, true self love involves some tough, unglamorous
actions such as:
1. Setting boundaries – saying no to toxic relationships or
situations, even when it is painful or inconvenient.
2. Forgiving yourself – letting go of past regrets and
guilt, which often requires some deeper emotional work.
3. Facing uncomfortable truths – Recognising when your self
talk is harmful or when your actions do not align with your values.
4. Doing the hard things – pushing yourself out of your
comfort zone, maintain discipline for your mental and physical health and
creating small healthy habits, without needing likes or approval from others.
5. Accountability – it is tough to acknowledge our personal
flaws and mistakes. It is often so much easier to blame other people. However,
in doing so we miss out on some crucial opportunities for growth. Failure is
often our best teacher, and mistakes are necessary for innovation and growth.
If we learn to take responsibility and ask ourselves, “what did this experience
teach me?” or “given the information I now have, how will this serve me better
in the future?” we allow ourselves the opportunity to reflect and grow from the
lessons learnt.
