What do you hope to see when the post lands on your doormat each day? An exciting invitation? A postcard from a friend abroad? A payslip attached to a letter announcing company-wide bonuses? Well, if you’re a 29-year-old living in France, prepare to be bitterly disappointed. Because what the government is sending you via La Poste is a warning that your biological clock is ticking. Accélère! Allez allez! Have a baby now! Before it’s too late!
The overbearing measure is part of a 16-part plan to increase France’s birth rate. This strategy, rather than questioning the economic barriers to parenthood that the government could actually change, instead zooms in on infertility, with officials signposting to available help for those struggling to conceive. Read: it’s not them that’s inadequate, it’s you.
France’s health ministry has said the aim of these letters was to “avoid the if-only-I’d-known” stage late in life, which is laughable considering no woman ever has been allowed to forget that there are cobwebs hanging off our ovaries if we don’t pop out a kid before hitting our third decade.
Fleabag creator Phoebe Waller-Bridge happily and healthily had her first baby last year aged 40, FYI. Meanwhile, Downton Abbey star Michelle Dockery was 44. In fact, in the population more generally, there are now twice as many women giving birth over the age of 40 as there are having children as teenagers, which should be seen as a good thing. In England and Wales, the average age of mothers reached 31 in 2025, the highest age on record. Focus on London alone and this increases to 32.5.
“This measure aims to reinforce the power of young adults to act, without injunctions,” France’s health ministry added by way of attempting to explain themselves, which honestly just dug a bigger, horrifying hole in the birth rate debate. A potential court order to have a baby instead of a personal choice? We’re veering into dangerous Handmaid’s Tale levels of dystopia now.
I’m currently 29, turning 30 in August, and I’d be horrified if I arrived home to find a letter serving as a biological alarm waiting on the doormat. Last week, I was evicted by my landlord; a no-fault eviction which will be entirely illegal when new renters’ reforms come into force in May. I can’t afford to buy a house, despite having a healthy deposit, because my salary is low and nowhere near in line with ever-climbing inflation. Plus, I have student loans and a half-lingering hope that I might be able to enjoy, rather than just survive, my life.
In what deranged universe am I going to bring a baby into the world when I can barely afford to exist by myself?
The UK has the second most expensive childcare system in the world, with the Coram Family and Childcare’s annual survey finding that the average cost for a full-time place for a two-year-old in England is over £14,000. Meanwhile, Save the Children found that there are 870,000 stay-at-home mums who want to work but can’t because of childcare cost and availability. Becoming a mum would mean giving up everything else I am.
As birth rates plummet, the crescendo of nonsense spewed out about the responsibility to procreate intensifies. Most recently, former Love Island contestant Chris Williamson hypothesised – while on one of the most listened-to podcasts in the world, Diary of a CEO – that birth rates were down due to “women’s socio-economic emancipation” and the impact of “reliable contraception”. God forbid we’d have either of those.
Days later, when 33-year-old pop icon Charli xcx revealed in an interview that she doesn’t want children – as is her right to choose – Arrested Development actor Jason Bateman gave a knee-jerk shocked response of, essentially, “You just haven’t met the right guy yet!” citing his own wife’s reluctance to become a mother until she met him. The singer swiftly informed Bateman that she had, indeed, married the love of her life in Italy last summer, and the answer was still “no”.
Any woman might recognise this haranguing. Last year, I underwent investigations into possible endometriosis and PCOS due to severe back pain and exhaustion. Both the GP and the gynaecologist who treated me suggested I have children imminently, with the latter even suggesting it was the only thing to do to get the pain to lessen or go away. A second opinion proved this to be false.
With everyone from GPs to podcasters to Emmy-winners telling women to get pregnant, we certainly don’t need government bodies getting involved too. Truly, mind your own business. Or else, put your money where the real problems are – women’s healthcare services, affordable housing, childcare, inflation-adjusted wages – not into pointed postal reminders.
Merci! Au revoir!
