The Fostering NetworkA foster parent who lost his sight after being injured by a child in his care has said he never considered stopping being a carer because he did not believe a disability should “hold me back”.
Nigel Walker, from Morecambe in Lancashire, has been a carer linked to the National Fostering Group for more than a decade with his wife Penny.
He lost the sight in his left eye in 2018 after suffering a head injury while caring for a young person with learning disabilities.
He said his wife asked him if he wanted to carry on and he thought “why should one single moment stop us doing what we love?”
Mr Walker said he bore “no malice” to the child for the life-changing injury he suffered.
“He didn’t mean to hurt me,” he said.
“He just didn’t know what he was doing.”
However, being left visually-impaired and suffering severe headaches, he could have stepped away from fostering.
But he said walking away never entered his mind and within two months, the couple had welcomed another teenager with learning disabilities into their home.
“I remember Penny saying, ‘It’s your call. Do you want to carry on?’,” he said.
“And I thought, why should one single moment stop us doing what we love?
“Why should a disability hold me back?”
‘Be inclusive’
He said that instead of hiding his disability from the children the couple care for, he had been open with them and used it as a way of teaching an important life lesson.
“We’re trying to teach them that people have disabilities – it’s not something to be ashamed of,” he said.
“All the children we’ve had in our care have been so helpful.”
The pair now care for three children, aged one, two and six, and said their house was once again filled with energy and chaos.
“It’s like stepping back in time,” Mr Walker said.
“Crayons on the floor, cartoons in the morning, kids climbing on my lap.”
He said that by early evening, they were “zonked, but it’s lovely”.
He added that he was also just as involved with them as he had been with the children they cared for before his injury.
“I do the times tables in the car, I listen to them read. And if it doesn’t make sense, I say, ‘read that again’,” he said.
“Penny will look at me and say ‘yeah, they’re trying to pull a fast one’.
“Just because I can’t see doesn’t mean I don’t know what’s going on.”
Mrs Walker said they had incorporated his disability into the everyday routines.
“The two-year-old we’ve got likes to run off, but if you say, ‘can you hold Nigel’s hand and help him?’, she doesn’t run,” she said.
“She walks nicely with him because she feels like she’s helping.
“I hope they’ve learned that compassion towards everyone and to be inclusive – especially of people with disabilities.”
Nigel WalkerThe couple said they would recommend being a foster carer to anyone, as it was so rewarding to see the children flourish, pointing to the example of one child who came to them with severe anxiety.
“He was so scared at first,” Mr Walker said.
“I asked him if he wanted ham, cheese or tuna in his sandwich – and he cried.
“He was terrified of getting the answer wrong.”
He said with their support, the boy had overcome his issues and was now grown up and serving in Belize with the Army.
“We see children come in and they settle, they get confident, they get attached,” he said.
Mrs Walker said it was “about breaking that cycle of abuse and showing there’s another way of life”.
“[It’s] teaching children that this – a safe, caring home – is what you should expect,” she said.
“You don’t have to accept abuse, anger or hurt. There is another way.”
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