stripped-back “There is a big brain that is working through every decision and action.”
And with that, ECB chief executive Richard Gould’s rallying cry, played on a kazoo, was complete. Brendon McCullum remains the man to take England forward as the head coach.
The news from today, in truth, is that there is no news. McCullum was the men’s head coach yesterday, and he will be the men’s head coach tomorrow. Rob Key, the men’s managing director, will keep his job, and so too will the captain Ben Stokes.
Bloodlust rarely leads to progress. You need only look to the conveyor belt of managers in the Premier League, or of prime ministers at No 10, to tell you that change isn’t a guarantee of success. But the feeling that apathy has won the day in ECB towers is hard to shake.
An hour-long press conference at Lord’s, conducted by Gould and Key, where they laid out all the mistakes that had been made in recent times, delivered the conclusion that the best people to learn from those mistakes were the guilty parties in the first place.
“When you see where Test cricket has come in this country in the last four years,” said Gould, “This is not the time to throw everything out.”
Gould’s opinion is not without reason. According to the ECB CEO, the average viewership of Test cricket has increased 25 per cent since McCullum took over. The cricket under McCullum has been wild and the results have been erratic, but it has got the people watching. And for a sport that craves eyeballs more than anything, that is not to be sniffed at.
But the problem with more people watching, is that more people have been paying attention.
Viewing figures, again, according to Gould and the ECB, were up 45 per cent during the Ashes. A series that left passionate fans furious and casual fans bemused. What do you mean, they had a week-long piss up in Noosa? And what do you mean, the white ball captain got punched by a bouncer the night before a game? Is this normal?
Everyone agrees it went too far. But no-one, it has been decided, was to blame. The result is an unhappy middle-ground where the leadership group whose greatest quality was their boiling forthrightness have been brought down to a simmer.
McCullum believes in stripped-back backroom staff and relaxed environments. But he is now in charge of a growing backroom staff and a team where they have to log their whereabouts past 9pm, according to a report by the Telegraph.
Rob Key wanted international attributes, not domestic statistics, from his county players. But with an overhaul ahead, he now finds himself on a charm offensive in order to repair a broken relationship between England and the counties.
“We put a real premium on having a settled team,” Key explained, with a renewed emphasis being placed on domestic performance ahead of the Test summer. “We overplayed that really…We didn’t want to be giving someone a debut in an Ashes Test match. But what happens then is that there’s a lack of consequence for substandard performance.”
The very first message to come out of this group was: “Be where your feet are.” Focusing on the here and now.
And today? “We have to understand where our priorities are,” said Gould. “And our priorities are largely with winning the Ashes and Test series against India.” McCullum’s record in Test series against India and Australia? Played four, won zero.
They say a good compromise is a situation that everyone leaves unhappy. And out of today, we have a great compromise.
“We are not going to select or deselect management based on a popularity campaign,” said Gould. “Moving people on can sometimes be the easy thing to do. That’s not the route that we’re going to take.
“It may not be the popular route. It may not be the easiest route, but I think it’s the right route.”
This is now a caveat-free leadership group. Between Gould, Key, McCullum and Stokes, they have had a full four-year cycle to enact and carry out their plans. No failures can be blamed on previous eras, and now the second iteration of their rule begins. That McCullum and Stokes parted ways during the Ashes is now on record, but the ECB and England remain of the belief that the pair are the best men for the job.
Sport is the most important of all the non-important things in the world. And when actions do not have consequences, an important illusion is broken. You realise that, yeah, England probably will lose to Australia or India across five Tests, and they probably will beat New Zealand or Pakistan when they come to town. Whether it’s McCullum in charge, Peter Moores, me, or you, Joe Root and Harry Brook will go out and score some runs. And one of the lads who wangs it down will get someone out or something.
The greatest success of this leadership team is that they got people watching, and their reward is that it will continue to be them that people watch, even when it shouldn’t be.
England’s next Test takes place in June, when New Zealand come to town for three Tests. Make sure to tune in.
