Maybe this World Cup had been just too exciting. Previously sceptical Americans were in danger of being converted to soccer. The various ills of Gianni Infantino and Fifa were being camouflaged by a flood of goals, many of them fine.
Not here. Loud boos greeted the hydration breaks, though they were no less eventful than much of the match. At least when nothing happened during them, there was no actual expectation of anything occurring. This was the worst match of the World Cup.
Thomas Tuchel had stated he had enjoyed one of the best weeks of his career. But that was before a shocker of a match. His team emerged with a point and retain top spot in Group L. But, frustrated and frustrating, they were dismal nonetheless.
The English are no strangers to unpleasant experiences in Massachusetts; after all, more than 300 chests of their tea were dumped at the bottom of Boston Harbor in 1773. If the English are chased out of Boston this time, it will be less about a determination for no taxation without representation than annoyance at their sheer dullness. Although, presumably, no one will want to mark the 250th anniversary of this.
At the least, however, this should dampen expectations of Tuchel’s team. There were suggestions they had been the most impressive side in the first round of fixtures. Not the second. After the buccaneering demolition of Croatia, the bland stalemate with Ghana.
Maybe Tuchel is discovering that problems which predate him remain. Gareth Southgate’s England were often uninspired in the second game of a tournament, as anyone who stayed awake throughout the Euro 2024 draw with Denmark can testify. It is 14 years since Time Magazine branded England the “world’s most disappointing team”. And if the Southgate era then provided more overachievement than underachievement, the World Cup has had few more disappointing games this year.
Not that Ghana confounded predictions. They did precisely what might be expected of a Carlos Queiroz team; they did it well, too, and the ends justified the means. They have four points and, for the first time since 2010, Ghana are surely headed for the knockout stages of the World Cup. For a side ranked 73rd by Fifa, that is no mean feat.
But England did too little to break them down and they did it too slowly. After the talk they had fearsome amounts of firepower, there was precious little evidence of it. Jude Bellingham became the youngest man to get 50 caps for his country, but his stand-out contribution was a last-ditch tackle. Harry Kane played at the old home of his hero Tom Brady, but with rather less impact, and skied his best chance.
England almost abandoned any idea of creativity in the middle, forever looking to move the ball wide. Tuchel has looked for pace on the wings; but with Ghana defending deep, there was little room behind their back four. Noni Madueke was too predictable, forever checking inside, as though hearing the voice of Mikel Arteta inside his head.
Anthony Gordon had his powers diminished by Ghana’s low block. The Merseysider was replaced, having looked anything but a Barcelona player. The closest anyone came to a breakthrough was when the goalscoring left-back, Nico O’Reilly came off the bench to head against the bar and when his fellow defender Marc Guehi had an effort cleared off the line.
Meanwhile, England looked more fragile than Ghana. Ezri Konsa inexplicably escaped without conceding a penalty for a knee-high challenge on Prince Kwabena Adu. Ghana had a counter-attacking threat; in the second half, anyway, because they began with no intent.
It was the first game in this World Cup with no shots on target in the first half; Ghana had none off target, either. It was not until the 57th minute that either goalkeeper was worked, and even then Gordon shot straight at Benjamin Asare.
Meanwhile, Ghana had 11.6 percent of possession in the first 20 minutes. They completed 34 passes in the first 36 minutes. One man probably enjoyed it. This was Queirozball, a formula refined across World Cups. The great anomaly was when his Iran opened their 2022 World Cup campaign with a 6-2 thrashing by England. When the final whistle blew here, only Mexico, Spain, Argentina and Ghana have not conceded in this World Cup.
Their national anthem, God Bless Our Homeland Ghana, contains the phrase “to defend forever”. It seemed Queiroz’s charges were happy to do just that. The jubilation at the final whistle came from their spectators. They can plan to extend their stay in the United States.
There were glummer faces painted with the cross of St George. The colony of Massachusetts has had different experiences of the visitors from the old country. While the Scotland supporters brought entertainment to Boston, the England team offered only tedium.
