We all say it – and most of the time, let’s face it, we don’t even mean it.
Well, now researchers have backed up the theory, after finding Britons say “sorry” in as many as 15 different ways, with only one actually expressing true regret.
After examining different scenarios we use the apologetic term, they say the multitude of meanings even creates confusion for foreigners, who assume a literal apology is being made, rather than accounting for the other uses of the word.
And they say only one of them means true regret – when someone is genuinely sorry to hear someone else’s bad news.
Karen Grainger, a lecturer in linguistics at Sheffield Hallam University commissioned by Babbel to analyse apologies, explained that “sorry” is frequently used in attempts to be polite, and to take the edge of disagreements or awkwardness as well as to work around social norms.
Britons say “sorry” as many as nine times a day on average, a previous survey suggested, according to The Times.
Mattias Pettersson, who is from Sweden but lives in the UK, told the newspaper: “When I first started spending time with my British partner, I was struck by how often she said ‘sorry’. At first, I thought I’d done something wrong. She’d say sorry when we passed each other in the hallway, when she handed me something, even mid-sneeze.
“Now, even with our two-year-old daughter and other Brits I met, I realised ‘sorry’ can mean anything from ‘excuse me’ to ‘after you’ to ‘I exist, and I hope that’s OK.’
“At first, I didn’t know how to respond — should I apologise back? Say thank you? It was confusing but also fascinating: a tiny word carrying a thousand meanings. It felt like there were secret rules I hadn’t learnt yet. Over time, I’ve learnt to love it. It feels less like an odd habit and more like a quiet sign of thoughtfulness and consideration.”
Sofia Zambelli, who is a cultural and language expert at Babbel, added: “In British English, ‘sorry’ is as much a social lubricant, an exclamation or a response to mild discomfort as it is a genuine apology. This unique multifunctionality makes it one of the most fascinating and simultaneously misunderstood words in the English language.”
Here are the 15 ways Britons use the word “sorry”:
- A genuine apology is used when someone wants to show that they care about what another person is going through when they share bad news.
- Then there is the passive aggressive use, such as “I’m sorry if I offended you.”
- If two people bump into each other, it is expected that both apologise, regardless of whose fault it is.
- When someone is blocking your way, often “sorry” is used to politely ask them to move.
- “Sorry” can be used before a polite challenge, such as: “Sorry, but I disagree.”
- To enforce rules, “sorry” is frequently used before the rule is stated, for example, “Sorry but you can’t sit there.”
- Then there are the times “sorry” takes the place of “pardon?” in conversations when someone misses what another person says.
- An apology can be used to express outrage, such as: “I’m sorry but they were totally out of line.”
- People often apologise when turning down offers or plans.
- A “sorry” can come before someone interrupts another.
- Before asking, someone to do something, a “sorry” is often said.
- If you want to turn down someone who is trying to engage with you, if you are busy, for example, then usually you would apologise first.
- “Sorry” is often said before speaking in an unfiltered manner.
- Minor rule-breaking might be prefaced with an apology, such as: “Sorry, I just couldn’t resist.”
- If suggesting a correction, but attempting to be polite about it, someone might say “sorry”.
