Now that we know Donald Trump will be making his state visit to the United Kingdom in September, the big question is – will the blimp fly again?
You may recall the blimp – the giant Trump baby balloon that was raised in London in Trump’s previous official visits, in 2018, and upgraded to full state visit status in 2019. The 20 foot high inflatable portrayed a infantile Trump in a nappy with a snarl on its face, like it’d just been told it had lost a free and fair presidential election.
Seemingly inspired by Orville the Duck, the Trump blimp was intended – in the words at the time of its progenitor, Leo Murray – “to make sure he knows that all of Britain is looking down on him and laughing at him”.
It is now (or should be) as honoured and traditional an element of a Trump visit as the lavish banquet and inspecting the guards in their busbies – but will Keir Starmer pressure Mr Mayor Sadiq Khan to take that blimp down in the name of Anglo-American relations?
Khan has been singled out for criticism by Trump before and was proud of giving permission for the airborne satire to take flight over the capital on previous occasions. The now historic artefact is apparently in storage at the Museum of London, though it is occasionally given a test flight in ensure it’s still airworthy, like the Spitfires and Lancaster bombers we like to see fly past on other great occasions.
The sight of the blimp from the window of Air Force One, ironically, make the famously touchy president so upset that he might order the plane to turn around and head straight back to Florida. Which would be a shame, because it would deprive us of some great late-summer entertainment.
How big, for example, will the protests be? The British managed 400,000 last time round, including some especially obscene placards up in Scotland, where the president will be taking in a little golf.
The King has wisely opted to sequester the president, First Lady and, no doubt, the extended clan at Windsor Castle, which was designed by William the Conqueror (who understood such things), to keep its inhabitants safe from attack. There will be a no-fly (or a no-blimp) zone. If possible, his majesty should make arrangements for any television sets to be removed from the visitors’ chambers and cancel the newspapers.
The prime minister has also sensibly opted for the Trump visit to be held during the parliamentary recess, so that there’ll be no unpleasant demonstrations by the likes of Jeremy Corbyn and Zarah Sultana at what would usually be a jolly joint address to MPs and peers, as was recently the case for Emmanuel Macron. No chants of “from the river to the sea” will assail the presidential sensibilities.
Nor will the House of Commons have to stage a formal debate on the wisdom of the visit because of a massive public petition, as happened before.
Given previous incidents, I imagine that the president has no doubt already been told that he won’t be able to have the carriage ride through London for “security reasons” – anyway, it might rain and the presidential Cadillac, known as “The Beast” is both air-conditioned and assassin-proof. Thus, will President Trump be deprived of the courtesy given to President Ceausescu in 1978 and Vladimir Putin in 2003.
Under our impressive anti-terror laws, protests will be quelled, suppressed and kept as far away from Trump’s attention as possible. Most of the jeopardy of mild to severe embarrassment, then, lies with the behaviour of the president himself. Starmer will be more nervous than a chicken hosting a convention of gourmand foxes at what The Donald might say or do during the few days when he will be the centre of attention.
Hopefully, Trump will leave JD Vance at home, but he’s perfectly capable of repeating his own views about irregular migration into Britain (naturally making an egotistical contrast with his own successes on his southern border), calling it an invasion or something. He could repeat his opinions about crime in London.
He might make a big public fuss of Nigel Farage – “great guy, make a fine leader” – and tell Rachel Reeves she’s making a complete and total mess of the economy (albeit that wouldn’t be so controversial).
In fact, based on what I’ve seen and read over the years, there are many things Trump might say. He might praise the likes of Tommy Robinson – most recently in court charged with harassing two Daily Mail journalists; and Lucy Connolly, the Tory councillor’s wife jailed for inciting racial hatred online following the Southport attacks – as political prisoners.
Or, he might deride the King’s devotion to environmentalism. No one can predict what he might do – or stop him. We know that, by now.
Volatile as he can be, the best that Starmer can hope for from Trump is some warm words on a future US-UK free trade agreement (despite the claims, there isn’t one now), support for Ukraine and the Nato alliance.
More likely, as Theresa May discovered on previous occasions, the Trumps will leave no more of a legacy than another outing for that big tangerine baby.
