For the purists out there, another dose of pure Tottenham. Pure chaos. Pure heartbreak.
One goal down inside six minutes, three down inside 15 minutes with Antonin Kinsky brutally hauled off by Igor Tudor after mistakes leading to two of the first three Atletico Madrid goals.
The Spurs players including, crucially, their Czech ‘keeper simply could not stay on their feet during the opening stages. They were sliding around as if the footwear had been hacked. Or one half of the pitch had been coated in oil.
Diego Simeone’s team lost their footing, too, but not nearly so often and were able to capitalise, run havoc and establish a comfortable lead into the second leg next week in London.
As for Tudor, his future is once more under fierce scrutiny. Four defeats out of four since he was appointed on an interim basis to replace Thomas Frank, with 14 goals conceded.
Next comes a trip to Liverpool on Sunday and doubts will surround the availability of Cristian Romero and Joao Palhinha who were both forced to leave the pitch looking dazed after a sickening clash of heads in stoppage time.
Tottenham suffered a humiliating 5-2 defeat by Atletico Madrid in the Champions League
Spurs were 4-0 down after 22 minutes on another disastrous night for boss Igor Tudor
Antonin Kinsky was hauled off after 17 minutes having made two significant early errors
Those in the away end at the Metropolitano sang for Mauricio Pochettino, the former Spurs boss now in charge of the United States who was at the game on the auspices of a scouting check on one of his players, Atletico’s Johnny Cardoso.
If any of those perched high in the Gods behind the goal Spurs failed to defend in the first half thought their last trip to these parts had started badly with a dodgy handball penalty inside two minutes of the Champions League final against Liverpool seven years ago, they would have to admit this was worse.
And for anyone thinking things could get no worse for Tudor’s Spurs after the meltdown last week against Crystal Palace… well, time for the infamous Mick McCarthy meme.
It can’t go on like this can it, Mick? It can…
Kinsky, recalled by Tudor for his first appearance since a Carabao Cup tie against Newcastle in October, was culpable for the first.
Trying to spray a pass to the right wing, he slipped, scuffed it and gave the ball straight to Ademola Lookman, who fizzed a pass to Julian Alvarez, who moved it square to Marcos Llorente who met it first time with a wonderfully crisp and accurate side-footed finish.
It was clinical punishment by Atletico, but such a big call by Tudor to change his goalkeeper at this stage had backfired spectacularly and what was already a big test for a team drained of confidence became even bigger.
The game was wild and open, the Metropolitano pulsated and Simeone’s players charged with incredible energy and tore around with great intensity. Spurs gasped for air.
Antoine Griezmann scored the second, courtesy of a slip by Micky van de Ven in defence. Griezmann collected the ball, beat Kevin Danso and drove a shot low past Kinsky.
It will take huge reserves of self-belief and mental fortitude from Kinsky, 22, if he is to come back from this calamitous night to forge a career in the Spurs goal
Micky van de Ven was at fault for the second goal when he slipped over in defence
Atletico couldn’t quite believe their luck and will surely comfortably progress next week
Within seconds, it was 3-0. This time, Kinsky trying to sweep a pass with his left foot towards his right back barely made any contact, fell onto his backside and left Alvarez the simple task of rolling the ball into an empty net.
Tudor turned instantly to Guglielmo Vicario and made the change, a moment of devastation for Kinsky. At 22 years old, it will take huge reserves of self-belief and mental fortitude if he is to come back from this night to forge a career in the Spurs goal.
Romero led teammates who consoled the young keeper as he trudged and some of the senior subs jogged after him down the tunnel to offer support.
Atletico though had the wind in their sails regardless of who was in goal and scored the fourth within five minutes.
Vicario made a fine reflex save to stop Pape Matar Sarr heading a free-kick into his own goal but Robin Le Normand was first to the rebound and headed it over the line.
Porro quickly pulled a goal back and Jan Oblak saved a header from Richarlison as Spurs stabilised and staggered towards the sanctuary of half time, with Van de Ven fortunate to avoid a red card for a high tackle and Llorente missing the chance to score a fifth.
Tudor made two more changes during the interval and although the second half was a more balanced affair there was no way back.
When they made it through the red-and-white shirts they were defied by Oblak and another save from Richarlison, 10 minutes into the second half, launched a counterattack leading to the fifth.
The ball was cleared high into the sky and met as it dropped by Griezmann who flicked it with the outside of his boot to release Alvarez.
It was a breathtaking piece of skill and it became an assist thanks to Alvarez who drove clear from deep inside his own half, staying clear of the retreating black shirts of Spurs defenders before beating Vicario for his second goal of the night.
Solanke pulled one back in the 76th minute by which time most of the away fans were on their way back to the centre of Madrid. Probably wondering if their next trip away in Europe will be to Cardiff or Swansea.
