Brutal, embarrassing and, to be blunt, utterly pathetic. Scottish football has truly plumbed the depths of despair this week.
Celtic’s lamentable Champions League play-off exit in Kazakhstan to Kairat Almaty on Tuesday was quickly followed last night by bitter rivals Rangers, who somehow contrived to make the Parkhead club’s defeat on penalties seem respectable.
Having been 3-0 down after 20 minutes in the first leg last week against Club Brugge, Russell Martin’s side appeared determined to trump that nightmare start in Belgium.
Three on-loan signings from the English leagues playing in defence were to the fore as they rapidly outdid each other in terms of sheer ineptitude.
Jayden Meghoma (19, from Brentford) was first up with a needless and reckless challenge, which earned him a booking, after just three minutes.
The full back then watched on helplessly as centre half Nasser Djiga (22, Wolves) left his man unmarked for the first goal two minutes later. And there was more as right back Max Aarons (25, Bournemouth) saw red after just eight minutes for a last-man challenge.
Rangers were humiliated by Club Brugge on Wednesday night, thrashed 6-0 in the second leg
Rangers were humiliated in Belgium, just a night after Scottish football didn’t think it could sink any lower
Celtic’s penalty shootout defeat by Kazakhstan’s Kairat Almaty ranks up there with the worst by any Scottish side in Europe
The 10 men were 5-0 down at half-time, and that included a string of wonder saves from former England goalkeeper Jack Butland.
Ibrox legend Ally McCoist summed it up at the break, saying: ‘That’s embarrassing defending… it’s schoolboy defending. It looks like we’re signing wee boys.’
The pain did not stop there, although a merciful Brugge showed a little compassion in the second half, only adding one more goal when double figures had looked a possibility.
Martin now has problems that are making his short, troubled spell in the Premier League with Southampton look like a honeymoon. And a quickie divorce could well be on the cards.
Celtic’s failure, meanwhile, has already led to furious accusations about a lack of ambition and a dereliction of duty by the Parkhead directors.
To be fair, after the goalless draw in the first leg against the Kazakhs the week before, the notoriously fickle Celtic fans were already chanting ‘Sack the Board’. Perhaps they’ll want them deported now…
Celtic’s defeat was not unexpected. The warning signs had been there for weeks and, the smart operator he is, manager Brendan Rodgers had been carefully laying the groundwork for this result as it became clear he wasn’t getting what he wanted in the transfer market.
He sure as hell wasn’t taking the blame for this calamity and he had the fans on his side. Some supporters, presumably wearing tinfoil hats, even claimed Rodgers’ lack of club tie for one match was a sign of his unhappiness with his employers.
Celtic’s defeat was not unexpected – there had been warning signs for weeks in the background
Brendan Rodgers refused to take the blame for his side’s embarrassing defeat – and there were other clues to his discontent
However, this week’s defeats aren’t all about the Old Firm and their travails. While fans of other Scottish clubs may have enjoyed seeing the Big Two come a cropper, the alarm bells should be ringing for our game at large.
Indeed, in my almost 30 years in sports journalism, I’ve never felt more deflated by the state of Scottish football. Does that sound alarmist? Hyperbolic? Perhaps but the domestic game has reached a tipping point even if it doesn’t realise it yet.
Come Friday, there will be at least three Scottish clubs still in European football but that speaks more about the bloated nature of UEFA’s three competitions than it does the standard of the teams.
Celtic and Rangers will play in the Europa League, while Aberdeen could also stay in the second-tier competition if they overcome Romania’s FCSB on Thursday night but if they fail to do so will drop into the Conference League, where Hibs are fighting to make the league phase after a 2-1 first-leg defeat by Rapid Vienna.
Yet, in truth, it’s all papering over the ever-widening cracks. I think about the players who have lit up the Scottish game over the last three decades and while there have undoubtedly been dark days in the interim, I’ve never seen a more hapless lot than those who are running out every weekend in the Premiership.
In the late 90s and early 2000s, we had the likes of Laudrup and Gascoigne, Larsson and Sutton. We had cameos from both Roy and Robbie Keane. Even 10 years ago, we had the likes of Virgil van Dijk here.
And while the more provincial clubs might not have had star names, they still tended to produce quality Scottish players. Or at least some decent imports.
Now? Rangers and Celtic don’t even have the best Scottish players in their ranks, never mind those they bring in from further afield.
The Old Firm is no longer a battle of stars, or even Scotland’s best talents
On Monday, Steve Clarke announced his Scotland squad for the opening World Cup qualifiers. From Rangers, he picked a back-up goalkeeper and an injury-prone defender. Celtic, meanwhile, provided an injury-prone left back and a back-up right back.
The big stars don’t play in Scotland. The best youngsters don’t play in Scotland. They escape south or to the Continent as soon as the chance presents itself.
On Sunday, it’s the first Old Firm derby of the season and it’ll be one to watch through the cracks of your fingers.
Two teams filled with a handful of Scots, a multitude of loan signings, an eclectic mix of foreigners and some English Championship rejects.
This is supposed to be the Scottish Premiership’s showpiece fixture but it’s one that has been in sharp decline over recent years.
The standard has plummeted and it’s indicative of the Scottish game at large. It can be entertaining but all too often it won’t be a moment of magic that wins a game, it’ll be a calamitous mistake made by a player who really isn’t up to the job.
The result is that the Scottish game’s reputation takes a hammering – and as it falls further down the ladder, it is harder to get back up.
Look at Celtic. They have the money for transfers. The cash is in the bank. But can they attract the right calibre of player? Without Champions League football, that would appear unlikely.
If Celtic can’t compete in the transfer market for quality players, what chance does the rest of the league have?
Rangers have been sliding back for years, and may be on for a record divorce time with manager Russell Martin
They’ll find themselves shopping in English football’s bargain bin once again or taking a punt on a foreign player that has somehow been missed by Europe’s elite.
They won’t be able to strengthen properly, and Rodgers will walk away at the end of his contract next summer and shrug his shoulders. And if Celtic can no longer attract quality players, what chance does the rest of Scottish football have?
Perhaps that’s the one ray of light Rangers have… that their rivals might end up wasting some of their money on panic buys. But it’s a rather forlorn hope.
Martin, perhaps unwisely, revealed his mum was worried about him recently due to his horrendous start in the job. She should be worried about us all.
