Andrew Flintoff has relived the horror of his life-changing car crash, admitting his lowest moments left him thinking, “I wish I’d died”.
The former England star suffered a serious accident while filming for Top Gear in 2022, enduring major facial injuries.
He speaks about the incident in depth for the first time in a new Disney+ documentary ‘Flintoff’, which premieres on Friday, offering an unflinching account of the incident.
The film contains still images from the scene of the accident and some graphic shots of his wounds, but Flintoff’s account is even more stark.
At one stage, he admits: “After the accident I didn’t think I had it in me to get through. This sounds awful…part of me wishes I’d been killed. Part of me thinks, I wish I’d died.
“I didn’t want to kill myself…I wouldn’t mistake the two things. I was not wishing, I was just thinking, ‘this would have been so much easier’. Now I try to take the attitude that the sun will come up tomorrow and my kids will still give me a hug. I’m probably in a better place now.”
The documentary ends with its subject back involved in the sport that made his name, as head coach of England Lions and Northern Superchargers, and back in the television studio in a reboot of darts show Bullseye.
He appears optimistic about the future, despite regular flashbacks to the accident, and states: “I don’t think I’m ever going to be better…just different now. I’m getting there slowly.”
Wife Rachael later concludes: “I do think cricket saved him. It gave him a reason for being again.”
The documentary, made by director John Dower, includes contributions from former team-mates Michael Vaughan, Steve Harmison and Rob Key as well as family members and showbusiness friends James Corden and Jack Whitehall.
There is also an appearance by his surgeon Jahrad Haq, who describes Flintoff’s injuries as one of the five worst he has come across in 20 years and likes the reconstruction process to a jigsaw with missing pieces.
Flintoff reveals he demanded to see footage of the crash and talks at length about the terror he felt in the moment.
“I remember my head got hit, I got dragged out. I went over the back of the car and it pulled my face down on the runway, about 50 metres, underneath the car,” he said.
“My biggest fear was, I didn’t think I had a face. I thought my face had come off. I was frightened to death.”
The BBC “rested” Top Gear for the foreseeable future in 2023 after reaching a financial settlement with Flintoff, an agreement reportedly worth around £9m.
The 47-year-old appears resentful about the entertainment culture he was involved in, likening it to his own injury-ravaged playing career.
“Everybody wants more. Everybody wants to dig that bit deeper,” he said, “I learned this in sport as well. All the injuries, all the injections, all the times I got sent out on a cricket field and treated like a piece of meat. That’s TV and sport. It’s quite similar, you’re just a commodity. You’re a piece of meat.”
:: “Flintoff” is available to stream exclusively on Disney+ from Friday 25th April.
