After three years of being single, I felt like I had exhausted all my options. I fell into the cycle of downloading dating apps, going on a date, feeling disappointed, deleting the apps, and vowing to focus on myself for a while or take up a new hobby – only to repeat the whole process a few weeks later.
I even tried dating events, where you pay £20 to be rammed into a room full of single people with no common interests – and I found the experience to be just as intimidating and fruitless as approaching a man in a bar in real life.
So, eventually, I gave up the ghost. I packed up my life in London and moved to Colombia.
There, I learnt Spanish and how to kite surf, and also built my businesses nomadically. I resigned myself to being the fun, single auntie – incredibly happy and surrounded by the love of my friends and family, but someone who doesn’t conform to societal norms.
It was completely unexpected, then, that during a visit home I would reconnect with someone I had met months earlier.
Although we had met previously at the Entrepreneur of the Year awards, this was the first time we had met up in a romantic capacity. But, given my history with dating, I went into it with no expectations.
I found him to be kind, funny, charming – and absolutely gorgeous. What’s more is, he took an interest in my business, he was excited about my achievements and he was engaged in our conversation, which was just so unbelievably refreshing.
Slight catch, though – he was about to head off to Vietnam on a three-month sabbatical and I had booked flights to Mexico.
Over a glass of wine he joked about me changing my plans to join him travelling, and in the subsequent weeks, daily texting turned to twice-daily phone calls, which then led to me asking my Instagram community if I should make the trip.
More than 3,000 of them weighed in and I got inundated with beautiful love stories from women who had made similar voyages for love. So, emboldened by their success stories, I took the plunge and flew 40+ hours to go and meet him.
He called me during every plane layover, but to say I felt nervous was an understatement. On arrival, though, he greeted me with a mango smoothie and had filled the hotel room with balloons and birthday presents for me. I instantly felt at home and safe.
We had more than 40 “dates” over the course of five weeks – we went quad biking through the Cambodian countryside, kayaking in Ha Long Bay and went snorkelling with sharks in Thailand. And, in that time, we fell in love.
So suspended from reality was it, though, that I wondered if it would work when we returned to our normal lives.
I needn’t have worried, because now, back in the UK, as I type this at his kitchen table, I can honestly say he’s one of the best things that’s ever happened to me.
Of course, I appreciate the circumstances in which I found love are slightly ridiculous. And it’s no secret that the enjoyment of modern dating has all but disappeared. Gone are the days when first dates conjure excitement or a bit of buzz in the WhatsApp chat – it’s now more like a chore, akin to taking the bins out or doing the weekly food shop; necessary but not enjoyable.
You’d also think that in a time where technology is so advanced and there are so many ways to communicate with others, it would be a lot easier to connect and find your person.
It’s what led me to create my own dating company, combining tech, human insight and real life events to help people find their needle in a haystack – that, and the fact that I met my now-boyfriend through shared interests.
Before each event, everyone is sent a short questionnaire and I run data matching to find people with similar interests and values. On the night, we facilitate informal, warm introductions, in great venues with the overarching dream of making dating more enjoyable, more inclusive and, well, less s***.
The business is fully gender and sexuality inclusive, I only work with wheelchair accessible venues and I’m fully committed to doing everything in my power to make dating fun again – whilst providing safe environments where absolutely everyone feels welcome.
I had an incredibly happy, full single life, but my fundamental belief is that love is one of the best things in the world and absolutely every single one of us who wants to, deserves to find it.
The dating apps have left behind a grey, toxic culture and I feel really passionately about making this space fun again – by helping to make dating a positive experience. At the very least, these events help curb the loneliness of living in big cities. But, who knows, they could also lead to two people jetting off to the other side of the world and falling in love…
Lucy Rout is an entrepreneur and content creator, who achieved television history on Dragons’ Den when we she became the first person ever to receive a job offer directly from Peter Jones and investment offers from Peter, Touker and Sara. At the start of 2025, she launched Haystack Dating, the first and only dating company combining tech, human insight and in-real-life events to help people find their needle in a haystack.
